Every FORKING Time I see “New and Improved” on anything I know it really means “Now Forking Lousy”.
According to Wikipedia. Prior to 2006 (we don’t forking know exactly when) Breyer’s was well know for producing All Natural Ice-Cream. The Vanilla Flavor for example only contained, Milk, Cream, Sugar, and Vanilla.
They call this new forking stuff “Home Made Vanilla but I don’t know of any forking household that uses carob bean gum, mono and diglycerides, guar gum and tara gum so HOW THE FORK can that be a Homemade Recipe?
I didn’t buy it but the taste and texture can’t be the same. I read somewhere that this stuff isn’t actually Ice-Cream anymore. The ingredients aren’t the correct percent to be ice-cream and now this is just a Frozen Dairy Product.
Who knew the Cashew is a seed that grows on a fruit called the Cashew Apple. (picture from HoboTraveler.com)
Unless you live in Brazil, India, SE Asia or Africa it’s likely that you’ve never seen a Cashew Apple. The Fruit is extremely Juicy and fragile and is usually only used as a drink, or made into liquor, or just given as feed to livestock.
The Cashew must be properly roasted to release the toxins it contains in it’s shell. That is why you never see cashews in the shell.
TweetI thought all the Pumpkin Flavored Foods I saw at Sprouts Farmers Market Grocery Store were pretty forking weird.
But over the past few weeks I’ve seen a bunch of other forking weird food and drink.
All American Cheeseburger Lay’s Stax Chips. I guess they are some sort of artificially formed potato chip with artificial flavors. Would you like to order a forking Cheeseburger with that? I don’t think these chips are something most people would relish.
Cow Fat Twinkies are now officially a SCREAM Flavor. I scream, you scream, we can all scream when we see these forking Twinkies.
Instant Hummus! Not a bad idea since sometimes you only need a spoonful. Still weird and unexpected.
BTW see the no sampling above?
Who the FORK is going to sample DRY HUMMUS MIX? I could understand some candy or some nuts but I can’t forking understand dry hummus sampling.
The above wine with an Alien on the label looks kind of cute I admit. The $2.99 price tag makes me forking certain it doesn’t taste like from out of this world. But I imagine I might forking pass out from the taste and see stars.
Maybe the Alien Wine pairs well with Buffalo Wings with Ranch Stax Chips?
Or maybe Wines For Dummies is the forking Smart Choice?
I forking wonder if these weird foods and drink are better choices for consumption than this one buffet that’s forking often featured on “Dirty Dinning.
66% of the World’s Garlic comes from China. Just look at any forking granulated garlic in your kitchen. If you look at the fine print you will read it’s from China. Most of the fresh garlic from your grocery store is also from China.
5% of the garlic comes from South Korea
Another 5% of the garlic comes from India
And ONLY 3% is grown in the USA
I forking guess the leftover 21% is spread thin across the world or unknown.
Garlic has been found to be useful for killing bacterias and viruses.
Garlic reduces your risk for heart disease, lung cancer, allergies and has been found to be an immune booster.
I saw fresh Parval at the market and they looked fresher than the Tindora that I buy sometimes. The tindora look the same but are smaller and you can use them like cucumbers. Both the Tindora and the Parval are members of the watermelon family. The seeds in the tiny Parval are very similar to hard watermelon seeds but the seeds in the tindora are soft and edible. I thought the Parval would be good pickled and I used a whole sweet onion so I’d have the sweet onion flavor and also a good amount of pickled onions for sandwiches.
This recipe is quick and easy you just bring ingredients to boil and pour over your cored Parvel, Sweet Onion and Fresh Dill. Place it all in a sanitary container, set in your refrigerator and it will be ready in about three days.
About 3/4 Lb. Parval (cored)
Sweet Onion Sliced Thin (I used a whole onion but you can use less if you don’t eat pickled onion)
Bunch of Fresh Dill
1 1/2 Cup Water
1 Cup Vinegar
1 Tablespoon Kosher Salt
1/4 teaspoon Celery Seed
1 teaspoon mustard seed
1 teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes
1 Bay Leaf
4 Garlic Cloves Minced
1 teaspoon Black Peppercorns
Bring all the liquids and everything except the Parval, Onions and fresh Dill to a boil and then pour over the Larval, Onions and Dill and mix. Place in a sanitary container in your refrigerator and the pickles will be ready in about three days.
I decided I needed to try the Pumpkin Seed Tortilla Chips and the Pumpkin Spice Salsa both do have pumpkin in the ingredients.
First I taste a Forking Chip.
It’s odd. The texture almost seems wet and I get an over powering taste of lime. Some of the chips also have a burnt taste. I’m not really liking them.
Then I taste the salsa.
At first taste it reminds me of Apple Pie because it’s kind of fruity but also tangy like salsa but with the taste of cloves. Then it finishes with a little heat and ginger.
It’s a little odd but I like the Chips with the salsa but not on their own. They need each other. It’s still odd but not awful. The salsa masks the imperfections of the chips. I guess I like the unusual salsa more than the chips. The salsa has a slightly fresher taste than most jarred salsas.
My one dog is very fascinated with the chips.
So I offer her a piece of a chip.
She likes them!
So then I offer my other dog a piece of chip. (notice how the chip is left uneaten at the bottom of the photo)
My other dog talks with his eyes and said something like “Are you FORKING NUTS? That isn’t food”.