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Forking Thoughts on Chips Ahoy Cookies

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Chips Ahoy was a forking 1956 Disney Film featuring Donald Duck and co-staring Chip and Dale. I don’t know if they have anything to do with the Nabisco Cookie but thought that was interesting.

According to Wikipedia Nabisco Chips Ahoy Cookies debuted in 1963 and are the second best selling packaged cookies in the United States just after Forking Oreos. Also according to old comic strips that used to be on the package Chips Ahoy Cookies have 16 Chocolate Chips in each Cookie.

When I was a kid I only remember one flavor of Chips Ahoy Cookies, and didn’t eat them and still don’t but my sister did.

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Today the flavor that I forking remember is called “Original” That bag of cookies wasn’t forking called “Original” was I was a kid it was just the only normal forking flavor they made.

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But since that cookie sells so well they need to make another FORKING DOZEN kinds of this cookie.

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Chewy

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Chewy Reeses

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Reeses

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Chunky

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Chewy Oreo Cream Filled (WTFork?)

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Chewy Birthday Frosting filled (WTFork Fork!)

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Chewy Gooey (looks like a day for Ammonium A.D.) Just look at that word gooey doesn’t it look like something a dog can forking squirt out?

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Chewy Brownie filled (this one looks constipated)

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Chewy Root Beer Float (someone must have been on weed to think of this flavor)

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Chewy Mocha Chunk (Mocha is my least favorite flavor…)

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Dulce de Leche (doesn’t look as forking awful as the previous ones)

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Chewy Mint Chocolate Chip (?)

According to Wikipedia Nabisco produced a Chips Ahoy in Jell-o Chips Ahoy Pudding . (WTFork!)

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This ship is Forking Wrecked!

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

The Jalisco Taco and More Adventure in MEXICO

Not this Kind of Place

 

I enjoy TV Shows likes Parts Unknown where Anthony Bourdain Takes Gastronomic Adventures with the locals. So while in Mexico we decided to take the Vallarta Eats Signature Taco Tour where we ate at a variety of mostly Street Stands where only locals eat.

Birria Ricky
Birria Ricky

The first taco spot was called Birria Ricky.  We were told these were the very best less than a $1.00 Beef Tacos you can get anywhere. The beef was slow simmered in consume and you are offered a variety of fresh toppings for your double shelled Birria Beef Taco.

Birria Beef Taco
Birria Beef Taco

Our next stop was another Birria Beef Taco but this one differed as it was Fried.

Fried Birria Beef Taco
Fried Birria Beef Taco

It tasted different than other fried beef tacos I tried as the shell had a rich flavor. I mentioned that it tasted different to me and was told it taste different because they brush the shell with beef juice.

Birria Chanfay
Birria Chanfay

I didn’t have to stand in the street to eat this taco. The owner of this humble taco stand uses his driveway as his restaurant. We were provided with not all but most comforts of a restaurant, tables, chairs, napkins and assorted sauces.

Marisma's Fish Taco
Marisma’s Fish Taco

Possibly the most successful of the Taco Stands is Marisma’s for their Fish Tacos and Smoked Marlin. Everyone I spoke to measures all fish tacos by Marisma’s. The batter dipped fresh Maui Maui Fish Taco is topped with fresh cabbage salad and what really makes it tasty are all the close to a half dozen home made sauces they offer you. Marisma’s has been around I think for 30 years and they have opened two actual restaurant stand locations.

On the Street Bread Vendor
On the Street Bread and Pastry Vendor

We saw a man wearing this Big Basket Hat carrying Fresh Baked Breads and Pastries. We all got to take one back with us to try latter. I took a Pineapple Coconut One and it was good. I had no idea The Mexicans have French Influenced Baked Goods.

Tortilla Factory
Tortillera Tortilla Factory

We stopped at a Tortilla Factory and learned the price of tortillas is set by the government. Many Mexicans are very poor and some only live on tortillas. A large amount of fresh tortillas can be purchased for almost nothing. I think we got about 12 for 15 cents. Nearly all the tortillas in this part of Mexico are made from 100% white corn and a small amount of water. The fresh warm tortilla I tasted differed from any other tortilla I ever tasted anywhere.

Ceviche Tostado
Ceviche Tostado

I learned that Mexican Ceviche is always cooked. The name of the casual restaurant we ate these Tostados at was called El Colera. The restaurant is small and casual but looked very clean. They also served several condiments with this Toastado. One sauce was a extremely spicy chili oil. We also had spicy picked onions, and fresh lemon (lime they call lime lemon here).

El Moreno
El Moreno

We had Quesadillas at El Moreno. The Corn Flour Tortilla is made right before your eyes and then gets filled with meat and onions.

Beef Quesadilla
Beef Quesadilla

My beef was very tasty but a little tough here. I really enjoyed the roasted Jalapeño that came with it. The Jalapeño was roasted just right and was spicy but had a great sweetness to it at the same time and elevated the quesadilla.

I didn’t take a picture of it but I tried a Guanabana Frozen Pop. It didn’t have a particular interesting flavor on it’s own but is suppose to be the new super food and many people believe it cures many ailments.  The frozen treat shop offered many home made fozen fruit pops and sorbets. The name of the shop was called La Michoacana.

We also visited a candy shop called Azteca. They do many products with coconut, seeds, grains and coffee. They also sell sweet liquors and they keep offering you samples. I think besides the fresh roasted pumpkin seeds I liked the spicy sweet but tangy Cucumber candy the best.

In addition to the Vallarta Eats Tour I had huiltacoche and Squash Blossom Quesadillas at the Vellas Vallarta Resort.

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The squash blossom has little flavor on it’s own but was something different. The Huiltacoche had a woodsy savory almost sweet mushroomy flavor that was far more interesting.

We heard the very best Tortas in Town are made at Malibu Jugos Y Cafe so we went there on our own.

Tuna Torta
Tuna Torta

 

I don’t know what makes a tortas the best but I can tell you mine was made on fresh baked bread that was slightly sweet and buttered. We had two tortas and a very large Lemon (lime) water to drink and I think we only spent about seven dollars.

 

Adios Amigo!

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

 

 

 

I was out of Lemon so I used Sumac and it came out Forking GOOD!

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I wanted to make my normal Tuna Salad but was out of some of the things I normally forking put in it such as LEMON.  So I added some Sumac because of it’s lemony flavor and it Forking WORKED!

I didn’t measure but all I used was-

Light packed in water Tuna Fish

Sweet Onion

An Apple

Olives

Capers

Balsamic Vinegar

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

SUMAC

Sea Salt

Black Pepper

A small amount of Fresh Parsley

Sumac turned out to be  forking good in Tuna Salad.

Forking Good!
Forking Good!

 

WTFork is Huitlacoche

Huitlacoche Quesadilla
Huitlacoche Quesadilla

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Huitlacoche is also called Mexican Truffle or Corn Smut but almost every forking menu I’ve seen it on just calls it Huitlacoche.

A fungus or disease causes corn kernels to swell in size and turn a blushish color and boy it looks forking unappetizing but you need to cook it till it turns black and then it can be used.

People prize Huitlacoche for it’s woody sweet, savory mild mushroom flavor. Most often it’s served in Quesadillas but also can be used in egg dishes, sauces and soups.

Huitlacoche has been considered a delicacy for centuries in Aztec Cuisine and is many times more expensive than the corn it comes from. It can be purchased fresh, frozen, canned and bottled.

Forking Good!
Forking Good!

 

Buyer Beware when you eat Something Packaged (Part 1)

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I was living in a Fool’s Paradise not knowing about all the FORKING CRAP they sneak into processed foods and Fast Food.  Maybe YOU ARE TOO!

I already wrote about Castoreum that Beaver castor sac substance mixed with FORKING Beaver’s Urine by the anal gland. (WTFork) (WHYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) (if you remember Nancy Kerrigan, the Ice Skater  insert that picture here) WHYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

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A very small amount of Castoreum is used (but not noted on food labels because it’s a “natural flavor”) in NOT ALL but some naturally flavored mostly vanilla raspberry things. A little bit goes a very long way and not much is needed only trace amounts. It’s also very expensive and not much is produced. I don’t have a forking clue on why someone decided to eat it.

Recently I wrote about Gelatin. I had no idea it was so Forking Processed to a forking point that many people don’t even consider it a meat substance even though it starts as Pig Skin.  The stuff is processed so much chemically it no longer is forking meat and even a starving Dog won’t eat it. Gelatin is added to so many things it’s scary.

Fast Food is fast and some people enjoy it. Recently according to the Huffington Post they wrote about a few Fast Food Places and some of the horrifying ingredients in their products they sell.

The Eggs in a Subway Breakfast Sandwich aren’t what you think there cracked up to be. (excuse bad pun) Besides eggs they have a solvent found in shaving cream, a silicon found in Silly Putty, and a Sealant found on Roofs and Concrete. God only knows what they’re going to find in you when you forking eat the stuff.  (Forking Gross)

Another Story reports about Chicken McNuggets sitting out on a counter too long and actually………

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MELTING

into a pool of liquid.

You’d think a FORKING salad would be OK wouldn’t you? (WTFork Forking worst than gross)

No!

Sadly most fast food salad lettuce has PROPYLENE GLCOL in it.

FYI Propylene Glcol is in Antifreeze and Sexual Lubricants.  This sounds like the set up for a good joke. Antifreeze and Sexual Lubricants……???

Buyer Beware when you eat something packaged.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

Chef Burke Inspired Fisherman’s Toast

I was forking watching Top Chef Duels and Chef David Burke made something called Fisherman’s Toast and all the judges were raving about it. They all went forking on and on with someone saying something like, “It’s so good I Could Forking eat this everyday forever”.  I don’t know exactly how he made it because all he revealed was that is was toast that’s charred with butter, meyer lemon and nori. I looked all over the web and nobody has posted a similar forking recipe anywhere. I was in a hurry to make this since it seemed so simple.  I didn’t go out to buy quality bread or light my grill.

I’m guessing that he grilled the bread to get the perfect char and that perfect char just before burnt is the secret.

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I just toasted the bread and got a taste of what it could be. My taster enjoyed it.

I know it wasn’t nailed but I’m excited to do it next time.

Something to try.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

Pickled Beet Flatbread Recipe

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Pickled Beets have such a great flavor and you can add them to other normal everyday things to make something forking interesting. For this Pickled Beet Flatbread just set your forking oven to 400 degrees get two pieces  of parchment paper, your baking sheet and a rolling pin and you can make this tasty flatbread in minutes.

Ingredients

1 Cup Whole Wheat Flour

1/4 Cup Corn Meal

1/4 teaspoon Baking Powder

1/4 teaspoon Baking Soda

1/4 teaspoon Kosher Salt

1 Tablespoon Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1/2 Cup Your Home Made Pickled Beets and fill the rest of the cup with Beet Liquid

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Then Blend your Beets.

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1/4 cup extra Beet Liquid

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Mix well and roll flat between two pieces of parchment paper. (Or use one silicone mat and parchment paper.

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Remove upper parchment and bake flatbread on parchment on baking sheet in a 400 degree oven for about 10 minutes.

Decorate as desired.

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Just a Salad with the previous Meyer Lemon Mint Tahini Dressing Recipe taste really forking good on Pickled Beet Flatbread.  I’m thinking of several other combinations with this one. There’s a bunch you can do with this one.

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Forking Good!
Forking Good!

Meyer Lemon Mint Tahini Dressing

Beet Flatbread with Chickpea Salad and Meyer Lemon Mint Tahini Dressing
Beet Flatbread with Fresh Salad and Meyer Lemon Mint Tahini Dressing

A little Twist on the classic Lemon Mint Flavor. Very forking tasty this recipe is a keeper.

Ingredients

2 small or one large Garlic Clove minced

2 Medium Sized Meyer Lemons (The Juice from both and at least one of the zest)

2 Tablespoons Extra Virgin Olive Oil

2 Tablespoons Tahini

1 Chile De Arbol minced

1 teaspoon dried mint

1 teaspoon Hibiscus Syrup

A small amount of fresh crushed Sea Salt and Black Pepper

Depending on how thick your tahini is you might need to add some water to thin. You just mix ingredients well and you have a delicious dressing to make a salad special.

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Forking Good!
Forking Good!

WTFork is that? (Chickpeas)

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Depending on where you forking live you might have never seen fresh Chickpeas.

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The Chicken is a Legume that is high in protein and is one of the earliest cultivated Legumes.

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Other names for the Chickpea are, Garbanzo Bean, Ceci Bean and Channa.

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These raw green one taste similar to  raw English Peas and can be prepared as similar dishes but do take a forking long time to shell.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

 

Easy Chicken Gumbo

Easy Chicken Gumbo over Pink Rice
Easy Chicken Gumbo over Madagascar Pink Rice

It takes a forking long time to make Gumbo the trick is low and slow so you need prepare for that and also need a just roasted chicken with saved Chicken Fat for that deep chicken flavor you want. The Red Bell Peppers and Heirloom Tomatoes added extra sweetness to this gumbo.

 

Ingredients

1/4 Cup Chicken Fat (saved from your fresh roasted chicken)

1/4 Cup Flour

1 Red Bell Pepper diced

1 Sweet Onion Diced

3 Stalks Celery Diced

1 Roasted Hatch Chili minced (or any very hot pepper you have)

3 Cloves Garlic minced

2 Cups Chicken Stock

2 Bay Leaves

About a pound of Heirloom Tomatoes Diced

1/2 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

1/2 teaspoon dried Thyme

1/2 teaspoon Kosher Salt

1/2 teaspoon Black Pepper

11/2 teaspoon File Powder

2 teaspoons Worcestershire Sauce

1/4 Cup Dry Sherry

About 8  ounces of your fresh roasted Chicken Pulled or Chopped

About 2 teaspoons Fresh Parsley Chopped

About 2 teaspoons Scallions Chopped

 

Directions

Cook Chicken Fat and Flour on low heat till it’s Milk Chocolate Color but make sure you don’t burn anything along the way or all is forking ruined.

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Add 2 cups of stock and it will thicken forking fast.

Drop in Bell Pepper, Onion, Celery, Hatch, Bay Leaves, Garlic and let simmer till vegetables are soft.

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Add Worcestershire, Sherry, Salt, Black Pepper, Cayenne,  and Tomatoes

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and cook down till Desired Consistency about two hours more on low heat.

 

Remove Bay leaves and add your fresh roasted Chicken and File.

Taste and determine if you want to adjust seasonings.

Garnish with Parsley and Scallions.

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Serve over rice. Makes about 4 Cups or two hearty Bowls.

Easy Chicken Gumbo over Madagascar Pink Rice
Easy Chicken Gumbo over Madagascar Pink Rice
Forking Good!
Forking Good!