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You can go Forking CRACKERS at the Super Market

 

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Just trying to select the Classic Premium Saltine Cracker has now become  forking dizzying in the grocery store.

It is too much work to break your forking crackers in your soup so just buy the new small sized  crackers.

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Maybe you don’t care for the square shape? So go for the round shape.

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You can buy the crackers in smaller wrapped portions to forking cut back on your plastic wrap usage.

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Maybe you like your crackers shaped like oyster crackers?

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You might have a whole household that needs a bunch of these crackers.

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You can go forking Crackers at the Super Market.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

New and Improved really means “Now FORKING LOUSY” Part 1

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Every FORKING Time I see “New and Improved” on anything I know it really means “Now Forking Lousy”.

According to Wikipedia. Prior to 2006 (we don’t forking know exactly when) Breyer’s was well know for producing All Natural Ice-Cream. The Vanilla Flavor for example only contained, Milk, Cream, Sugar, and Vanilla.

They call this new forking stuff “Home Made Vanilla but I don’t know of any forking household that uses carob bean gum, mono and diglycerides, guar gum and tara gum so HOW THE FORK can that be a Homemade Recipe?

WTFork!

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I didn’t buy it but the taste and texture can’t be the same. I read somewhere that this stuff isn’t actually Ice-Cream anymore. The ingredients aren’t the correct percent to be ice-cream and now this is just a Frozen Dairy Product.

This is Forked Up!
This is Forked Up!

New and Improved always means “Now Forking Lousy”

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

The Cashew Apple and it’s Seed the Cashew

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Who knew the Cashew is a seed that grows on a fruit called the Cashew Apple. (picture from HoboTraveler.com)

Unless you live in Brazil, India, SE Asia or Africa it’s likely that you’ve never seen a Cashew Apple. The Fruit is extremely Juicy and fragile and is usually only used as a drink, or made into liquor,  or just given as feed to livestock.

The Cashew must be properly roasted to release the toxins it contains in it’s shell. That is why you never see cashews in the shell.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

Woo HOO Chef Emeril Lagasse Favorited my Tweets

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Favorites mean a Tweet is well liked among Twitter uses.

My Easy Chicken Gumbo

Easy Chicken Gumbo over Pink Rice
Easy Chicken Gumbo over Pink Rice

My White Sonora Berries in Dijon Sage Vinaigrette.

White Sonora Berries Salad in Dijon Sage Vinaigrette
White Sonora Berries Salad in Dijon Sage Vinaigrette

My Basil Heirloom Carrots Two Ways.

Rainbow Carrots two ways with Apple, Basil and Black Rice
Rainbow Carrots two ways with Apple, Basil and Black Rice

My Korean Leek Pancakes.

Zucchini and Korean Leek Whole Wheat Pancakes
Zucchini and Korean Leek Whole Wheat Pancakes

and My Homemade Pizza.

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He also favorited a Tweet my Pizza was forking mentioned in.

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I thought that was very forking cool.

I just feel like bragging.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

Dining with Other People is Interesting

When you dine with friends, neighbors or relatives you will find they have preferences that differ from yours.

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Some people don’t like spices and prefer bland food.

Some people like lean meat while others prefer fatty meat.

You also meet people who don’t eat meat.

You might dine with a family that doesn’t eat anything vegetable.

You might dine with someone that makes all their desserts out of Jell-O and everything is semi-homemade.

Some people only prefer to eat only foods they were brought up with from their family and are not open to trying cuisines of other people.

Some people always have to eat French Fries with Pizza.

Some people cook burgers  dry and chewy and use that cheap cheese that doubles as plastic.

Some people enjoy sweets and other people don’t.

AND A GROUP OF PEOPLE CAN NEVER AGREE ON ONE FORKING FLAVOR OF ICE-CREAM.

Dining with other people is interesting.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

 

Forking Weird Food out There!

I thought all the Pumpkin Flavored Foods I saw at Sprouts Farmers Market Grocery Store were pretty forking weird.

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But over the past few weeks I’ve seen a bunch of other forking weird food and drink.

All American Cheeseburger Lay’s Stax Chips. I guess they are some sort of artificially formed potato chip with artificial flavors. Would you like to order a forking Cheeseburger with that? I don’t think these chips are something most people would relish.

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Cow Fat Twinkies are now officially a SCREAM Flavor. I scream, you scream, we can all scream when we see these forking Twinkies.

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Instant Hummus! Not a bad idea since sometimes you only need a spoonful. Still weird and unexpected.

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BTW see the no sampling above?

Who the FORK is going to sample DRY HUMMUS MIX? I could understand some candy or some nuts but I can’t forking understand dry hummus sampling.

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The above wine with an Alien on the label looks kind of cute I admit. The $2.99 price tag makes me forking certain it doesn’t taste like from out of this world. But I imagine I might forking pass out from the taste and see stars.

Maybe the Alien Wine pairs well with Buffalo Wings with Ranch Stax Chips?

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Or maybe Wines For Dummies is the forking Smart Choice?

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I forking wonder if these weird foods and drink are better choices for consumption than this one buffet that’s forking often featured on “Dirty Dinning.

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?????????

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

The Forking Truth about Garlic

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According to answers.com

66% of the World’s Garlic comes from China. Just look at any forking granulated garlic in your kitchen.  If you look at the fine print you will read it’s from China.  Most of the fresh garlic from your grocery store is also from China.

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5% of the garlic comes from South Korea

Another 5% of the garlic comes from India

And ONLY 3% is grown in the USA

I forking guess the leftover 21% is spread thin across the world or unknown.

Garlic has been found to be useful for killing bacterias and viruses.

Garlic reduces your risk for heart disease, lung cancer, allergies and has been found to be an immune booster.

And that’s some forking truth about Garlic.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth

 

 

 

Spicy Pickled Parval with Sweet Onions Recipe

Parval
Parval

I saw fresh Parval at the market and they looked fresher than the Tindora that I buy sometimes. The tindora look the same but are smaller and you can use them like cucumbers. Both the Tindora and the Parval are members of the watermelon family. The seeds in the tiny Parval are very similar to hard watermelon seeds but the seeds in the tindora are soft and edible.  I thought the Parval would be good pickled and I used a whole sweet onion so I’d have the sweet onion flavor and also a good amount of pickled onions for sandwiches.

This recipe is quick and easy you just bring ingredients to boil and pour over your cored Parvel, Sweet Onion and Fresh Dill. Place it all in a sanitary container, set in your refrigerator and it will be ready in about three days.

Ingredients

About 3/4 Lb. Parval (cored)

Sweet Onion Sliced Thin (I used a whole onion but you can use less if you don’t eat pickled onion)

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Bunch of Fresh Dill

1 1/2 Cup Water

1 Cup Vinegar

1 Tablespoon Kosher Salt

1/4 teaspoon Celery Seed

1 teaspoon mustard seed

1 teaspoon Red Pepper Flakes

1 Bay Leaf

4 Garlic Cloves Minced

1 teaspoon Black Peppercorns

Bring all the liquids and everything except the Parval, Onions and fresh Dill to a boil and then pour over the Larval, Onions and Dill and mix. Place in a sanitary container in your refrigerator and the pickles will be ready in about three days.

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Forking Good!
Forking Good!

 

 

 

 

 

Rambutan

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Cute little fruits that are easy to peal. They taste sort of similar to sweet green grapes with one large pit in the center that is edible and can be cooked.

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Rambutan grow on trees and are native to Indonesia and Malaysia. They currently grow all though South East Asia and are strongly related to the Lychee.

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Give them a try!

Forking Good!
Forking Good!

Sprouts Pumpkin Seed Tortilla Chips & Sprouts Pumpkin Spice Salsa

 

At my local Sprouts Farmers Market Grocery Store they seem to be having a Pumpkin Festival.

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Pumpkins and Pumpkin Flavored Foods are forking everywhere!

They’re selling Forking Pumpkin Cider, Pumpkin Ice-Cream, Pumpkin Gelato, Pumpkin BBQ Sauce, Pumpkin Pasta Sauce, Pumpkin Butter, Pumpkin Soup, Pumpkin Cookies, Pumpkin Seed Tortilla Chips and Forking Pumpkin Spice Salsa.

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I decided I needed to try the Pumpkin Seed Tortilla Chips and the Pumpkin Spice Salsa both do have pumpkin in the ingredients.

First I taste a Forking Chip.

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It’s odd. The texture almost seems wet and I get an over powering taste of lime. Some of the chips also have a burnt taste. I’m not really liking them.

Then I taste the salsa.

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At first taste it reminds me of Apple Pie because it’s kind of fruity but also tangy like salsa but with the taste of cloves. Then it finishes with a little heat and ginger.

It’s a little odd but I like the Chips with the salsa but not on their own. They need each other. It’s still odd but not awful. The salsa masks the imperfections of the chips. I guess I like the unusual salsa more than the chips. The salsa has a slightly fresher taste than most jarred salsas.

My one dog is very fascinated with the chips.

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So I offer her a piece of a chip.

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She likes them!

So then I offer my other dog a piece of chip. (notice how the chip is left uneaten at the bottom of the photo)

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My other dog talks with his eyes and said something like “Are you FORKING NUTS?  That isn’t food”.

Forking Truth
Forking Truth