Monthly Archives: June 2015

The Forking Truth is that some Metro Phoenix Restaurants DON’T HAVE PUBLIC RESTROOMS

That's FORKED Up!

That’s FORKED Up!

When I forking moved to Phoenix Arizona I thought that every forking restaurant would have a public restroom. Then I started coming across more and more restaurants without forking restrooms. I thought that a guest of the restaurant should have a private place for hygiene or whatever and at the forking very least a forking hand washing station.

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Caribbean Cuisine in Glendale AZ serves up some delicious jerk chicken but you will feel like a jerk if you pee on the floor because there isn’t a public restroom here.

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Hummus Xpress in Tempe AZ doesn’t have a public restroom either.

Dazzo’s Dog House in Glendale AZ has been serving up some spicy beef for decades now but don’t wash your sandwich down with too much soda here either or you’re going be in trouble.

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Paprika is the tiniest restaurant I ever been in. This place might have been originally a forking closet. On my first visit here I felt claustrophobic but they rebranded themselves,  and redecorated more sensibly. They don’t have a public restroom but you can use the restroom next door because it’s the same ownership.

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If they  put a restroom in Paprika it would have to be a forking porta potty in the parking lot.

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Guido’s in Scottsdale AZ offers you refills in big glasses but your just going to have to hold it in.

Who’d ever forking guess that a James Beard Award wining Chef and Restauranteur would have a restaurant without a forking restroom.

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Pane Bianco in downtown Phoenix AZ doesn’t have a public restroom.

The Forking Truth is that some Metro Phoenix Area Restaurants don’t have public restrooms.

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

 

 

 

 

 

Hummus Xpress in Tempe Arizona is Worth a Fork

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Hummus Xpress is a small casual eatery in Tempe AZ that serves up quick healthy and delicious Middle Eastern Mediterranean Foods. Everything is forking delicious. The owner is a former professional basketball player that decided he liked cooking, turned trained chef and makes dishes from his Lebanon homeland.

You walk in and you see a whole line of many pans of food like a forking buffet behind glass. You see mostly vegetable dishes but they do have some meat too. They also bake their own fresh pitas in the regular variety and whole wheat. Falafels are cooked forking fresh to order.

You order…….. (at the time of this review these are the prices…)

a pita plate ($6.45) – 1 protein, rice 3 fill ins, toppings and sauce

a bowl ($7.95) – 1 protein, rice, 3 fill ins, toppings, sauce and a pita (like the plate but about 1/2 the size)

a salad ($8.45) 1 protein, rice, 3 fill ins, toppings, sauce, a pita over kale and romaine

or a plate ($9.95) 2 proteins, 4 fill ins, toppings, sauce and a pita

I like getting the plate so I can forking try as much as possible and sometimes I just bring the rest home so I get two lunches.

The protein choices are  spit fired roasted lamb gyro, marinated lemon and herb chicken, high quality 15 hour beef with Aleppo pepper and Lebanese Falafels that are fava bean & chick pea with herbs and spice. You’ll see many hot prepared vegetables that are called “the fill ins” depending on the days selection they might be such as spicy carrots, fried eggplant, garlic herb potatoes, and lemon garlic kale. You have a choice of 3-4 fill ins depending on what your order is……… pita, bowl, salad, or plate.

The next section are the salads. They usually are tabbouleh, a lentil salad or a kale salad.

You know there is hummus among us so now so you get to pick from the days selection of several. They usually offer plain hummus, beet hummus, cilantro hummus, spicy roasted red pepper hummus and sometimes delicious lemon ginger hummus.

They offer many vegetable toppings like pickles, feta cheese, fresh garbanzos, pickled beets and more including sauces like tzatziki to top that all with but I like the fresh herb schug that’s very herby and spicy.

Here’s what I got last time. You can’t see it but I got the Aleppo beef with falafels as my proteins and I also got a fresh made wheat pita.

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The cooked to order falafels made with fresh herbs. A better falafel is made with fresh herbs.

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It’s a lot of food but it’s healthy food that’s mostly vegetables.  Hummus Xpress serves up tasty food and is something different that you can’t get anywhere else. It’s not a place that you would travel across town for because there isn’t a public bathroom. It’s place you that you stop into when your in the area.

3.5 Meaning  Good Value not award winning. if you are in the neighborhood kind of place.

Meaning Good Value. if you are in the neighborhood kind of place.

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

Forking EZ Brined Chicken Roasted at HIGH Heat

 

 

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You can have forking juicy crispy chicken easily if you just brine it over night and then just forking rinse off, blot dry and toss in a 450 degree oven.

Brining is forking easy to do these days because your local grocery store might sell a 12 ingredient brine mixture so you don’t have to spend a forking fortune just finding all those spices. However you do need to add salt and sugar to use to use the brining spice. You can also add an ingredient or two to make it more your own. You just forking cook the brine spices to make the flavors come out and then add your water, salt and sugar and cook till dissolved. You let the brine cool and then pour on to your chicken and let sit overnight and simply roast it the next day. That’s forking easy isn’t it?

Ingredients for around 8 servings

Chicken (I used 4 leg quarters that weighed a total of 4 lbs. 9 0z.)

1 cup pickling spice (12 ingredients, coriander, cinnamon, mustard, ginger, fenugreek, bay, dill, red pepper, cloves, fennel, black pepper, allspice)

1 star anise

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup kosher salt

1 orange (I just used the juice I squeezed from it)

12 garlic cloves smashed

3 cups water

nonstick spray two light sprays for the baking sheets

Directions (set oven to 450 degree roast)

Cook all the dry spices (except for salt and sugar) in a sauce pot a minute or two till you can smell them.

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Then add your water, orange juice salt and sugar till it boils. Let the liquid cool. Put your chicken in a zip lock bag and when the brine mixture is cool then pour it into the bag with the chicken while trying to squeeze out all the air in the bag you can and seal. Then let the chicken sit over night in your refrigerator.

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Rinse off the chicken and blot dry.

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Line your baking sheets with foil logs so your chicken can have drainage and doesn’t steam as much. Apply and very light coating of nonstick spray to the pan.

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If you have a similar oven with similar size chicken to what was done here your chicken will be done in 30-35 minutes.

Here’s the 14 year old right by the oven waiting for chicken.

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30 and 35 minutes later here is the chicken.

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The chicken comes out delicious and perfect with a tasty crispy skin too.

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It’s very juicy too with lots of flavors.

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Part of the fan club is waiting for chicken.

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And That was Forking EZ Brined Chicken roasted a High Heat.

It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

 

 

WTFork is a Strata & South West Style Spicy Vegetable Strata Recipe

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A strata is a baked and layered egg dish that is often made of milk, bread, eggs and cheese but can include vegetables and or meat. Unlike bread pudding the strata is layered instead of all mixed up like a forking baked pudding. The strada sits in the refrigerator over night so the bread parts get custardy. Here is my recipe for a South West Style Spicy Vegetable Strata. This strata comes out deliciously flavorful, a little spicy, cheesy, light and fluffy almost like a forking soufflé.

Ingredients Makes about 10 servings

2 cups of chopped zucchini (I used local Mexican Zucchini)

1 scant cup of scallion whites

1 garlic clove minced

2 hot roasted hatch chilies with stem and seeds removed. (mine were super hot but mellowed just right in this dish. Yours might differ).  If you don’t keep hatch chilies in your freezer for year long use then use jalapeños to your liking I’d suggest about 2 depending on size and heat)

1 red bell pepper (remove stem & seeds) chopped

1 green bell pepper (remove stem and seeds) chopped

1/2 red onion chopped

3 Tablespoons butter

about 10 twist of fresh ground sea salt

about 10 twist of fresh ground black pepper

9 whole eggs

4 cups of nonfat milk (Usually when I use a lot of cheese or butter I try to balance with nonfat milk)

8 oz. pepper jack cheese (shredded)

8 oz. sharp cheddar cheese (shredded)

10 oz. jalapeño cheese bread cut up (I purchased from Sprouts It’s spicy with jalapeño)

5 1/2 oz. corn tortillas torn up

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

Some nonstick spray for your pan and some to put on foil cover.

Day 1 Directions

Melt the butter in a fry pan on medium high heat and add all the vegetables and heat till they are soft. Add fresh ground salt and pepper and remove from burner and let cool.

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Mix well or whip up the eggs with milk and salt and pepper and set to the side.

Get out your pan and lightly spray it with nonstick spray.

Your first layer is about 1/3 of the bread and about 1/3 of the tortillas torn on pieces.

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Now spread on about 1/3 of the vegetables.

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Next is about 1/3 of the cheese.

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Add about 1/3 of the egg/milk mixture and keep layering the same way until you are done. tortillas/bread, vegetables, cheese, milk mixture and tortillas/bread, vegetables, cheese, milk mixture.

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Cover with plastic wrap and put in the refrigerator.

Day two Directions

Take Strata out of the refrigerator, set oven to 350 on bake and let the strata sit out about a half hour to warm slightly. Remove plastic wrap and loosely cover with foil that has been sprayed with nonstick oil to prevent sticking. The strata needs to be in the oven 45 minutes covered. After 45 minutes remove the foil.

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At this point your strata will NOT BE DONE YET and needs to go back in the oven for about 35 minutes uncovered.

After around 35 minutes it should look like this.

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In a few minutes you can dig in.

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It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

 

 

 

 

 

Forking Dinner Idea………Twin Pizza Calzone

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On TV I saw Andrew Zimmern in Italy on the travel channel and they visited this little popular pizza place that makes these trendy pizzas that are 1/2 and 1/2  pizzas with the forking end rolled up into a calzone. The pizzas had very different dough than traditional American Pizza’s and had very thin cracker-like crust. I liked the novel idea of this forking kind of pizza.

This is the first time I didn’t make my own forking dough. But this dough I used was gluten free and was on sale for $1.00 so I said to my WTFork! It will be great for a cracker like dough and a little forking  healthier too!

So I rolled it out very thin on a paddle with a little corn meal on both sides.

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I decided I’d stuff the calzone side with spaghetti squash mixed with some home made sauce and some cheese

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Then it got calzone shaped.

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Then I slid the dough off onto a preheated oven stone at the suggested temperature for the dough (400 degrees) till the dough looked crispy and done. (about 15 minutes)

I smeared a tangy cow’s milk cheese called stracchino on one half.

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Then topped that with arugula, a small amount of crushed almonds, extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, black pepper and shredded parmesan cheese.

The remaining half was based with roasted red pepper pesto and shaved fioro sardo hard cheese made from whole sheep’s milk cheese.

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It was something fun and different.

Calzone Twin Pizza

Twin Pizza Calzone

It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

Forking More WEIRD, New and Different Food out There!

The world is filled with so many new, weird and different foods out there. I just never forking know what I’ll see next.

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I never dreamed I’d see forking veggie burgers in a forking can and

Big Franks in a forking can. (excuse the pun) They might be hard to relish.

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Forking FRIED Chik’n in a FORKING CAN! (now that’s a WTFork!)

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New Orleans Kettle Style Sizzling Steak (forking) Potato Chips.

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BIG (forking) Ritz Crackers. WTFork are you going to slap on that forking raft.

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Forking leftover Pumpkin Spice gum…..WTFork?

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Really forking leftover FORKING Candy Corn Pebbles.

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Rice Krispies crackle snaps.

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Chompie’s Ketchup made by local Phoenix Bagel and bread people.

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Snack packs are more than just forking pudding now.

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Hershey’s Chocolate are in Pillsbury Crescents now.

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Too lazy to forking make it to Boston Market? It could be lurking in your forking freezer.

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Don’t feel like tipping your server at chili’s? For $2.50 chili’s cuisine is in your grocer’s freezer.

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PF Changs is also in your grocer’s freezer. If your too lazy to purchase a five pound bag of rice for around two forking bucks you can forking purchase frozen steamed rice for $3.99.

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And to top it all forking off with a cherry……..

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How about forking Black Cherry Cola Cordial Cherries?

I just don’t know what  I’ll FORKING see next!

The Forking Truth

The Forking Truth

Some Animation Characters I Remember & The Food they Forking Ate

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Every time you watched the Flintstones you’d always forking see them at the Bronto Burgers and Ribs Drive Inn. The Flintstones were a working class modern stone-age family. They almost always ate forking big pieces of meat whenever you saw them eating.

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Besides the Bronto Burgers The Flintstones also tried the ribs a number of times.

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Fred and Barney also visited sit down restaurants. The soup sure doesn’t look so forking good.

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I couldn’t forking find a picture of Fred with his lunch box pulling out a GIANT Sandwich that were forking bigger than the lunch box but you can imagine it.  I did find a photo of Wilma and Betty grocery shopping.

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The Jetsons lived a space age lifestyle that differed very much from modern the stone-age Flintstones. I don’t recall poor old George Jetson eating anything better than a forking pill. I think it forking had something in it for his nerves too. But at least the pill was presented on a platter by his maid and housekeeper the outdated Rosie the Robot while his wife Jane was out shopping at Mooningdale’s? or something the fork like that.

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Tom and Jerry is a cartoon about a cat that wanted to eat a mouse named Jerry that lived in his house. Tom always was thinking about a Jerry Sandwich.

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Here’s a forking Jerry Sandwich….

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Jerry was just forking happy with cheese.

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The Simpson’s are the longest running and most successful cartoon in history. Homer Simpson loves to eat and drink and Donuts are his favorite food.

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Homer’s son Bart Simpson is forking associated with Butterfingers.

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Homer washes most things down with Duff Beer.

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Garfield the cat is well know for his passion for food but is best known for loving lasagna. He also is known for….”diet is ‘DIE’..with a ‘T.”

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Scobby Doo is a great dane that helps solve paranormal mysteries. Scobby doo needs his forking Scobby Snacks and his owner Shaggie always seemed stoned and also was always eating.

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Besides nuts and berries Yogi Bear and his side kick Boo Boo raid forking picnic baskets at Jellystone Park. If I recall correctly every forking show was about raiding picnic baskets.

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Popeye is well known for super human strength after eating spinach after getting pounded on by Brutus who always tries to make a forking move on Popeye’s girl Olive Oyl. ******Older cartoons made before the 60s featured Bluto as a similar Brutus character. They looked and acted very similar. The change had something to do with licensing and Bluto is suppose to be a different character than Brutus.

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A Disney movie called Lady and the Tramp was a romantic movie about a cocker spaniel named Lady and a mutt named Tramp. They enjoyed scraps from Tony’s Restaurant and Tony helped hide them from the Dog Catcher. This movie is forking well know for the spaghetti scene.

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Ratatouille is another Disney about a rat that has an interest in cooking. Unless you’ve been living under a forking rock you KNOW he cooks ratatouille.

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Bugs Bunny is a rabbit with a New York accent and a New York Attitude and also is a bit of a trickster. He has this catch phase he uses while always chomping on a carrot. “Eh…What’s up Doc?” Bugs Bunny is also the mascot of the Looney Tunes.

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And That’s All Folks!

That was some animation characters I remember and the foods they forking ate.

The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

Moroccan Inspired Carrots

Moroccan Inspired Carrots

Moroccan Inspired Carrots

Over the past year I ate Moroccan Carrots from several restaurants including a Moroccan one. I thought they were all the most delicious carrots and I can tell you two of them were the best carrots I ever tasted in my life.

I studied many different recipes for Moroccan Carrots and this is what I came up with.

Ingredients For about 12 servings

3 lbs. carrots

1/4 cup & 2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (1/4 C EVOO for roasting the carrots & 2T EVOO to roast the shallots and scallions)

1/2 cup water for roasting the carrots

2 Tablespoons sugar

fresh ground sea salt

fresh ground black pepper

1 bunch parsley -I used a big bunch of curly and tried off stems – clean and rough chop

1 bunch cilantro – trimmed of the thicker ends of stems- clean and rough chop

1 bunch of scallions – clean and separate white ends and green tops – rough chop all but keep separate

4 garlic cloves – fine chop

1 jalapeno – fine chop

2 meyer lemons – fresh squeezed (you are only using the juice)

2 Tablespoons orange zest

1 shallot – chopped up

2 Tablespoons kosher salt

1 teaspoon Aleppo pepper

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

pinch cloves

1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil (for the herb sauce)

1/2 cup water (for blending herb sauce)

1/2 cup of Turkish Apricots chopped

1/2 cup roasted almonds chopped

1/4 cup of honey or date syrup for drizzling

Directions

Set your oven to 375 degrees. First step is to roast the carrots. Clean the carrots and place them on baking sheets with a drizzle of olive oil and a a couple tablespoons of water. Sprinkle the carrots lightly with sugar and cover with foil. Roast the carrots on your middle rack. Roast till fork tender. (about an hour) After fork tender remove the foil cover and bring the carrots up to the top rack and let roast till they look browned and caramelized. (15-20 minutes). Apply fresh ground salt and pepper to the carrots and keep warm.

Roast up your shallots and chopped whites of scallions. Set them on a baking sheet and sprinkle with olive oil. Set on top rack of your oven till browned. (about 20-25 minutes). Set aside.

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Blend up all the remaining ingredients  (except the carrot toppings of apricots, almonds and honey/date syrup) with your just roasted shallots and roasted green onions.

Pour the herb sauce over the carrots and top with the apricots, almonds and honey (or date syrup)

Moroccan Inspired Carrots

Moroccan Inspired Carrots

It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fresh Heirloom Brandy-Wine Tomato Salsa Recipe

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I got these beautiful brandy wine tomatoes from Tolmachoff Farms in Glendale. They are the FORKING BEST tasting tomatoes I ever tried but they always are so ripe you forking have to use them that day or the next. I was out of fresh basil but had fresh cilantro so I forking made salsa.

Ingredients makes about 7 cups so that might be 14 servings plus

2 lbs 10 oz. Tomatoes (cut out cores and chop up tomatoes)

5 oz. Scallions chopped up

1 Red Bell Pepper core and seeds removed and chopped up (or a green if you have a green bell)

4 Jalapeños stems removed and chopped fine (you might need more or less depending on how hot the peppers are, size and your tolerance for heat)

6 Garlic cloves minced

2 teaspoons cumin

2 teaspoons black pepper

1 Tablespoon + 1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 Tablespoon sugar

1/4 cup apple cider vinegar

1/4 cup fresh squeezed lime juice

1 cup chopped fresh cilantro

Combine ingredients and blend about halfway so it’s still chunky but is also smooth.

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Fresh heirloom brandy-wine tomato salsa.

It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

 

 

Yellow Tomato and Orange Gazpacho Recipe

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I got these beautiful sweet yellow tomatoes from the farmers market so I wanted to make gazpacho with them. I dropped the tomatoes in boiling water for a few minutes so I could peal them and discovered how sweet and fruity they taste. If I closed my eyes and ate them I would never guess they were tomatoes and got inspired to add orange to the bring out the fruit notes.

Ingredients Makes about 6 cups – about 6 servings

2 lbs. 6 oz. yellow tomatoes

1/2 cup of cucumber (chopped small)

1 large orange (segments with membrane skin and seeds removed and then chopped) and use about-

2 tablespoons of orange  zest.

1/2 red bell pepper – stem and seeds removed and fine chopped

1/4 cup chopped scallions

1 jalapeno chopped fine (you may need slightly more or less depending on the heat, size of your pepper and your taste)

3 garlic cloves minced

2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

2 Tablespoons white vinegar

2 Tablespoons fresh squeezed lime juice

1/4 teaspoon aleppo pepper

1/2 teaspoon cumin

2 teaspoons kosher salt – 1 teaspoon kosher salt + 1 teaspoon kosher salt to add to a pot of water

1/4 teaspoon black pepper

2 Tablespoons fresh cilantro

2 Tablespoons fresh basil

Directions

Put a pot of water on the stove to boil and add a little salt. Cut light x cuts on bottom of tomatoes and drop in boiling water.

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Remove tomatoes after a minute or two. Let tomatoes cool and peal them and remove the tomatoes button where it was once attracted to a stem.

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Lightly chop the tomatoes and blend them. Add the rest of the ingredients and adjust seasonings if necessary. Serve Chilled.

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It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!