EZ Almost no measure Apple Crumb Pie Recipe

EZ almost no measure Apple Crumb Pie

EZ almost no measure Apple Crumb Pie

You can make a forking delicious Apple Crumb Pie in less time than it takes to go the the store and purchase a crappy apple pie. You don’t really need to measure because these pies are forking easy to throw together and do turn out delicious! My recipe is EZ because you blind bake the crust, bake the crumb topping and the apples separably but together in the oven and then assemble. Your pie will be tastier than any apple pie you purchase from your local supermarket.

Ingredients (Set your Oven at 350 degrees)

Apples (3-6 depending on size of apples) pealed and cored and cut in bite size pieces.

Sugar around a cup

Cinnamon depending on how much you like a little sprinkle on the crumb and a BIG sprinkle on the apples.

Flour around a cup or so.

Room temperature soft butter. I used 6oz exactly.

about 1/4 teaspoon of Kosher Salt

Forking EZ Directions

Take your soft 4oz stick of butter and blend it with what you eyeball as about the same amount of flour with a pinch of salt and mix and mix till it’s like play dough.

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And then pat the dough into your pie pan.

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Now make your crumb topping.

You need 2 oz. of soft butter and add your flour and a little sugar (a couple spoonfuls) and a sprinkle of cinnamon. You need enough flour to make the dough look like crumbs.

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Put your crumbs on a small baking sheet.

Now make your apple filling.

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Peal and core your apples and cut them in small pieces. Give them a BIG sprinkle of sugar and maybe 2 teaspoons of flour (so soak up juices) and a big sprinkle of cinnamon. Stir and microwave for 3 minutes and place on a small sheet pan. Bake all three pans for about 20 minutes and then assemble.

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EZ almost no measure Apple Crumb Pie

EZ almost no measure Apple Crumb Pie

Now you have your EZ almost no measure Apple Crumb Pie!

Forking Good!

Forking Good!

Festive Holiday Cranberry Sauce Recipe

Festive Holiday Cranberry Sauce

Festive Holiday Cranberry Sauce

I wanted a traditional tasting cranberry sauce but just very slightly elevated. I know I nailed it because my companion always thought he hated cranberry sauce and tasted mine and said it was really good. The hibiscus syrup is unique but has a very similar flavor to the cranberries and doesn’t compete with them and seems to make the cranberry flavor a little deeper. The small touches of spices just add a small amount of balance still keeping the cranberry sauce very traditional.

Ingredients

24 oz. fresh Cranberries

2 Cups Sugar

1 3/4 Cup Water

1/4 Cup Hibiscus Syrup

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1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

small pinch of Kosher Salt

small pinch of Aleppo Pepper

(Forking EZ Directions)

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Just bring to boil in your sauce pot.

Then reduce to simmer for around 45 minutes.

Festive Holiday Cranberry Sauce

Festive Holiday Cranberry Sauce

Forking Good!

Forking Good!

 

 

 

Weird Bathrooms in Restaurants in the Metro Phoenix Area

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ (right across from the bathroom sink you get a view of the toilet seat from the handicapped bathroom)

WHO THE FORK wants FORKING PEEPHOLES in the restroom? Some idiot or pervert was very misguided in their decision to install several peepholes in the two ladies stalls in this forking restaurant.

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ

It’s  immoral and forking disrespectful to say the forking least.

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ

At first I thought the wood just had natural holes but then I looked closer.

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ

Bootleggers Modern American Smokehouse Phoenix AZ

The holes sure forking look hand drilled to me!

Other restaurants in the Metro Phoenix area have made unusual and weird bathroom choices.

A certified Pizza Restaurant in Scottsdale Forno Fabri 1949 has semi clear walls between the bathroom stalls so you can see the person next to you do what they do and THEY CAN FORKING SEE YOU TOO! I don’t understand the appeal there, do you?

A small Fish Cafe Restaurant Coconuts Fish Cafe in Scottsdale has the Toilet Paper dispenser installed by where your toes would be…I don’t get that one. Maybe it was accidental? Maybe it has been changed since I was there. Not so weird but funny maybe the dispenser was installed by a forking hamster.

At one of area’s Top Chef’s Restaurant Christopher’s and Crush Lounge has a weird communal sink installed between the Ladies and Mens Rooms. It’s a water flowing from the ceiling between the ladies stalls and the mens stalls. It looks really pretty but you can accidentally grab someone’s forking strangers hand who’s across from you while you rinse off.

A Beard Nominated Chef’s Restaurant Bink’s Midtown used to grow his herbs in the restroom until someone  complained about it in their review. Nobody wants forking fart scented herbs in their food. I note the herbs are no longer growing in the bathroom.

In Gilbert AZ at Joes Farm Grill the bathroom has a TV in the wall playing SCI FI and lots of Sci Fi memorabilia adorn the walls. You sure can forking space out there!

Maybe the FREAKIEST of all the bathrooms I’ve been in around the Metro Phoenix Area is located in an Old Town Scottsdale Restaurant AZ 88. Large roomed completely Mirrored restrooms. You see everything all around you and above you. Very freaky and weird. I hope none of the mirrors are two way. Mirror mirror on the wall why are you all over a forking bathroom stall?

Some of the restaurants in the Metro Phoenix Area have FORKING WEIRD Bathrooms.

Forking Truth

Forking Truth

Barbecue is all Forking Different

Brisket from Little Miss BBQ Phoenix AZ

Brisket from Little Miss BBQ Phoenix AZ

I’ve had BBQ from several BBQ Places in the Metro Phoenix Area over the past few years and some forking differ so much from the others I wonder what the Fork BBQ really is.

Smoky, Fatty, Dry, Saucy, Sweet, Tangy, Crispy, Wet, & etc.

The definition of BBQ according to Merriam Webster is… “To Roast or Broil on a rack or Revolving Spit over or before a source of heat”.

Then I wanted a more specific definition and it got forking confusing.

Kansas City Style BBQ-Slow Cooked Meat smoked over a variety of woods and then covered in Thick Tomato and Molasses Sauce.

North Carolina Style- (Lexington) Vinegar based red sauce seasoned with ketchup usually pork based BBQs.

North Carolina Eastern Style-Is Whole Hog BBQ with vinegar and pepper sauce (no tomato)

South Carolina Style- is THREE FORKING DIFFERENT STYLES

Savannah River-peppery tomato or ketchup

Central- The Yellow Carolina Gold Sauce (yellow mustard, vinegar, brown sugar, spice)

Pee Dee- Whole Hog BBQ, spicy watery pepper sauce

Memphis Style- BBQ Ribs “WET” and “Dry” Wet Ribs are brushed with sauce. Dry Ribs are seasoned with Dry Rub. Memphis is big on BBQ Sandwiches too.

Texas Style- Some Texas BBQ may have German and Czech influences.

(cowboy style)-Goat or Mutton directly cooked over Mesquite.

South Texas- Cow Head cooked under ground

Alabama- Mayonnaise and Vinegar White Sauce BBQ used as a marinade and dressing. Alabama BBQ is usually Chicken.

Then I read about more endless styles

California Style, California Santa Maria Style, Hawaii Style, Kentucky Style, Oklahoma Style, Virginia Style, and the different Asian Styles, Chinese BBQ, Thai BBQ, Japanese BBQ, and Korean BBQ.

Barbecue is all Forking Different!

Thee Pitts Again Glendale AZ

Thee Pitts Again Glendale AZ

Leo's Island BBQ (Hawaiian)

Leo’s Island BBQ (Hawaiian) Peoria AZ

Bobby Q's Phoenix AZ

Bobby Q’s Phoenix AZ

Tom's Thumb Fresh Market Scottsdale AZ

Tom’s Thumb Fresh Market Scottsdale AZ

Pork on a Fork BBQ Grill Phoenix AZ

Pork on a Fork BBQ Grill Phoenix AZ

Forking Truth

Forking Truth

 

 

 

 

 

More Dining With Dogs

AJ's Patio Arrowhead Glendale AZ

AJ’s Patio Arrowhead Glendale AZ

My dogs are just so forking STINKING Cute! I just had to add these pictures to my blog. If you don’t like dogs just FORKING SKIP this post.

Not all……. but many of the patios around the Metro Phoenix Area are forking dog friendly.

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So we take them out as much as possible. They enjoy the ride and they usually enjoy the food.

Nova Lox Bagel from JJ's Delicatessen Scottsdale AZ

Nova Lox Bagel from JJ’s Delicatessen Scottsdale AZ

The food isn’t always dog friendly. (sometimes it’s not forking people friendly) (I note you need to check the list of foods your dog can’t eat from your Veterinarian and or on the ASPCA website or other websites)

Cucina Taglianti Glendale AZ

Cucina Taglianti Glendale AZ

Both dogs enjoy Italian Food.

And other food too.

AJ's Glendale AZ

AJ’s Glendale AZ

Even when it isn’t food they like both dogs still enjoy dining out.

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They are both….

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Very well behaved.

We always get BIG Smiles when we forking take them out!

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Forking Truth

Forking Truth

The Saddest Forking Thanksgiving Ever

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The Thanksgiving Feast in a Bag Potato Chips by Boulder. A full Thanksgiving Flavored Dinner of Potato Chips.

Turkey and Gravy Flavored Chips.

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I found these inedible. These were the forking worst of the bunch for me. There is a nasty powder on them.I can’t stomach them. It was sawdust and chemicals to me.  My companion said they taste like cheap turkey gravy.

The Stuffing Flavored Chips.

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They taste like thyme and little bit of poultry seaoning with a little bit of something bitter.

The Pumpkin Pie Potato Chips.

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Something is missing. I get cinnamon,  nutmeg, a tiny bit of sweetness,  and something like a buttered potato.

Cranberry Sauce Potato Chips

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These Chips have a Slight red tint added. They have a little tartness and a little sweetness to them with a potato taste. They taste almost like children’s strawberry breakfast flavored cereal but with potatoes.

Maybe Sherif Joe had these chips made for the prisoners in his jail for their Thanksgiving Meal? Because these would make the Forking Saddest Thanksgiving ever.

Forking Truth

Forking Truth

 

WTFork is Red Velvet Cake?

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I wasn’t forking sure what Red Velvet Flavor is suppose to be? Every-time I tried it I didn’t care for it because it was like not so good tasting bloody looking chocolate with a not so good tasting icing. Not good enough to be chocolate and not yummy enough frosting to eat….to me.  I do know most people forking like Red Velvet. Maybe I just haven’t had a good Red Velvet yet?

I did a little FORKING research. (and no I would NEVER eat a red velvet pop-tart)

NO FORKING BODY KNOWS the exact forking history of the Red Velvet Cake.

Some people believe somebody from the New York Waldorf Astoria invented it in the 1920s.

The definition of a Red Velvet Cake is a Reddish Buttermilk Coca Layer Cake topped with cooked Roux Icing or a Cream Cheese Icing. The Reddish Color is either from Beet Root or Food Coloring.

Forking Truth

Forking Truth

 

Red Spinach

Red Spinach

Red Spinach

I never forking saw Red Spinach before. I read that Red Spinach is also called Chinese Spinach and also Spleen Amaranth. Red Spinach is originally native to South America.

Today I saw it at my local Trader Joe’s.

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It doesn’t taste too much different raw. Just slightly sweeter. Cooked taste more sweet less vegetable.

Cooked Red Spinach

Cooked Red Spinach

Red Spinach is attractive in salads.

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A pickled egg, beets and some red runner beans would be forking nice to add to this salad.

Hope I see Red Spinach again!

Forking Truth

Forking Truth

EZ 3 Hour Roasted Chicken Confit Style Onions

EZ 3 Hour Chicken Confit Style Onions

EZ 3 Hour Chicken Confit Style Onions

Just toss them in your oven and forget about them. The Onions will come out developed with deep flavors and a delicious melty texture. Great for grilled meats, sandwiches and casseroles.

Ingredients Oven set at 350 degrees

3 Large Sweet Onions (cut in halves and sliced thin)

6-8 Bay leaves

about 1/4 C. saved Chicken Fat (Mine is always orange because I always use paprika when seasoning chicken. It is also kept frozen so it looks solid)

1 teaspoon Black Peppercorns

Big Splash of Leftover Wine (for this one I used Rose but any would be fine) (about a 1/4 Cup or so)

Big Drizzle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (about 1/4 Cup)

Directions

Line your baking pan with bayleaves, chicken fat, peppercorns, and wine.

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Lay your onions on top

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Drizzle the tops of onion with your Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Roast for 3 hours at 350 degrees

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If you see any pieces that are too burnt remove.

Now remove onions from pan and leave peppercorns and bay leaves behind.

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EZ 3 Hour Chicken Confit Style Onions

EZ 3 Hour Chicken Confit Style Onions

Your EZ 3 Hour Chicken Confit Style Onions will be a crowd Pleaser.

Forking Good!

Forking Good!

 

 

Mayonnaise and Aioli

Calorically dense food

Calorically dense food

There isn’t a forking lot of difference between Mayonnaise and Aioli. This is what they are.

Mayonnaise is an emulsion of neutral oil, egg yolk, lemon juice or vinegar. Adding the addition of mustard to Mayonnaise turns the sauce into Remoulade.

Aioli was invented in France. Aioli is hand made by pounding garlic cloves into a paste and then whipping egg yolk, lemon juice, and olive oil into the mixture.

Forking Truth

Forking Truth