Author Archives: The Forking Truth

An Overall Not Worth a FORK Dining Experience in Metro Phoenix AZ

Sort Rib Taco from Salt and Lime Restaurant Scottsdale AZ

Sort Rib Taco from Salt and Lime Modern Mexican Grill Scottsdale AZ

Mexican Food can be delicious and is usually made with various fresh herbs and lots of spices. This kind of food is not boring and certainly isn’t bland.

When I walked into this establishment besides nearly turning forking deaf from the blaring 70s hard rock anthem tunes, I could see by the patrons that the cuisine would not be authentic Mexican and would be some sort of Americanized Mexi Style kind of food. So I only had forking dreams of an average meal but soon my only average dreams turned to a mediocre experience.  We were quickly whisked to the dining room filled with tables and booths that were very close together and some members of our party were actually rubbing elbows with strangers. We soon receive a basket of half broken corn chips that weren’t oily…….. YIPPIE!………. I dipped a chip into the salsa. It was oddly tasteless. It seemed like a few key ingredients were missing from that batch of salsa. It seemed like the fresh cilantro, chilies, salt, garlic and fresh onions were hanging out with the missing Lindbergh Baby.

I thought it might be a good idea to share a pitcher of margaritas. I tasted my margarita and it was cloyingly sweet like hummingbird water and seemed to only had trace amounts of liquor in it if any. It made me go mmmmmmmm not a forking good idea.

Oddly someone was running around passing out tickets to win a forking beer logo floatation raft. It sort of reminded me of a forking circus. My number wasn’t called so I felt deflated and didn’t win the forking floatation raft.

The tacos were $2.00 off for happy hour so they seemed appealing to start out with as appetizers. Four of us were at the table and between us we tried five different tacos. Four out of the five tacos were made with dry undeveloped with flavor meats and seemed to lack similar taste that the salsa was missing. I had the Huachnanco Taco, that is a snapper taco.

excuse the forking poor photo but that’s the fork how it came out.

Salt and Lime Scottsdale AZ

Salt and Lime Modern Mexican Grill Scottsdale AZ

The fish didn’t seem over cooked like all the meat tacos but this taco didn’t have any delicious flavor to it either. You can see this taco lacks fresh cilantro and fresh scallions. This taco was loaded with a creamy sauce that lacked the cilantro flavor that the menu promiced and other good flavors it was suppose to have. You can’t tell by looking at the photo how the pickled onions taste. Usually pickled onions in a taco taste good. These onions tasted like straight vinegar. They lack the sweet to balance them out.  It’s a little hard to see but there are small chunks of pineapple in the taco. The pineapple lacked a fresh pineapple texture and taste. I don’t know for sure but they seemed like sweetened pineapples from a forking can. When I bit into this taco I couldn’t forking taste much more than plain vinegar that made my mouth hurt. that taco was very unbalanced in flavor.

I had the kale and mango salad for dinner with added salmon.

Salt and Lime Scottsdale AZ

Salt and Lime Modern Mexican Grill Scottsdale AZ

After the the not so good tacos (saying the forking least), weak sweet margaritas and not so good salsa I wanted to forking hate my salad but honestly it wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t great. While it wasn’t forking awful like everyone else’s meal but it was expensive for what I got. The salad does come in small and large so I asked the server the different in size so with her hands she makes like the small is a forking 4 inches big and with her hands like the large is a foot long so it makes me think I better get the forking large one that cost $18.75 with salmon. That’s a lot of forking money for a salad even for forking Scottsdale.  The kale was prepared nicely and cut in the right size pieces. Mango, red cabbage, jicama, avocado, queso fresco and pepitas all were a good combination in the salad and did taste good. I can’t forking bust them for bad tasting dressing because the orange lime vinaigrette dressing was mostly forking tasteless. I did get about two bites out of many over the course of two days (because it was forking gigantic and took the rest home) that were DELICIOUS because those couple bites had the orange taste. That leads me to believe the dressing might have not been mixed well and I only got the light stuff off the top of the batch of dressing with all the flavors settled on the bottom. I have to say my salmon was cooked perfect. It had a nice crust and was prepared medium-medium rare. The salmon it’s self was very good.

My husband tried the carnitas. Sorry for another forking poor photo, I wasn’t drunk I swear because I couldn’t choke down that forking margarita.

Salt and Lime Scottsdale AZ

Salt and Lime Modern Mexican Grill Scottsdale AZ

The carnitas were dry and not developed with flavor.

One person at the table had a vegetable burrito. I don’t know what was wrong with it but the Sr. Citizen that had it said, “it was mediocre at best”.  I didn’t forking question that.

Another person at the table had the carne asada fajita. I saw the meat and could see it looked forking dry and shriveled up like beef jerky. It’s too bad the cook that prepared it didn’t feel like a forking jerk for sending that thing out. The person who had the fajita did say something to the waitress and she offered him a replacement that he refused. Later she did remove the fajita from the bill. That was nice and our server did seem very nice. Sadly she works in a place that prepared mostly mediocre food and drink when we were there.

So if your a fan of overly sweet/weak margaritas, American/Mexi Style food that’s bland and mostly dry, expensive salads, in a loud rubbing elbows bar and circus like atmosphere…….This is JUST THE Place for you!

Overall

Not Worth a FORK!

Not Worth a FORK!

I note your forking opinion may differ and you just like this kind of cuisine. I also note this it how it was on the forking day I was there and on other days they could possibly be better.

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

Slight update- The manager contacted me and said they’d turn down the music if we asked them too and that the pineapples weren’t canned. She also said I could come back and get a free appetizer.

 

 

 

 

 

WTFork are Black Velvet Apricots?

Black Velvet Apricots

Black Velvet Apricots

Black velvet apricots are actually 50% apricot and %50 plum. They have a slightly fuzzy skin like velvet and a really sweet juicy orange colored flesh. The first one I tried I thought started out tasting like a super intense apricot but then it finished more like plum with a slightly tart skin. The texture is better than an apricot it far more juicy and doesn’t have than grainy thing that apricots sometimes have.

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This is WTFork black velvet apricots are.

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

La Piazza Al Forno Glendale AZ is Worth a Fork!

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In old town historic Glendale AZ is a little Italian Restaurant called La Piazza Al Forno. This restaurant might be famous for being featured on Food Network TV’s Diners Drive Inns and Dives with Guy Fieri but don’t hold that against them. This little restaurant pumps out Italian Certified  Neapolitan Pizzas that are light and delicious. After all these are the delicate kind of pizzas that you eat with a knife and fork. With mozzarella cheese is made in house and certified D.o.p. Italian tomatoes how can these pizzas not be delicious?

Margherita D.O.C.

Margherita D.O.C.

The pizza that most people start out with is the basic certified pizza call the Margherita D.O.C. It’s made of Certified Dough San Marzano Tomatoes D.o.p., house made mozzarella, extra virgin olive oil, and fresh basil. This is the lightest pizza I ever had anywhere. The crust is light and pillowy and moist in the center. The tomatoes are rich with tomato flavor. The olive oil and basil compliment the pizza perfect. It’s a very tasty pizza and you can eat half and not have a forking brick in your stomach like regular pizzas from most other places. This pizza doesn’t weigh you down. It’s a forking pleasure to eat.

Salvatore Pizza- San Marzano tomatoes D.o.p., house made mozzarella, extra virgin olive oil, prosciutto di parma, arugula

Salvatore Pizza- San Marzano tomatoes D.o.p., house made mozzarella, extra virgin olive oil, prosciutto di parma, arugula

I’ve also had other pizzas here including the one they might be locally famous for such as their white pizza that’s tasty and delicious. They won an award for best white pizza in metro Phoenix. Another dish they are well known for is the Spaghetti Pie but that one is only a forking special. I haven’t tried that one yet but the last time I was there almost every table had one. This time I thought I’d try something different and had the Calzone.

Calzone

Calzone

This one is not for the faint of heart. Nor do I recommend to devour this beauty in one forking seating. It comes stuffed with ricotta, house made mozzarella and a San Marzano tomato sauce is included for the yum factor for $9.00. For two dollars more I added fresh spinach because eating a little bit of vegetable made it seem slightly healthier (LOL) and Calabrian Chiles for pops of heat for fun. This is how it looked inside.

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My husband had the Dolce Diavolo pizza.

Dolce Diavolo Pizza

Dolce Diavolo Pizza

The Dolce Diavolo Pizza is made of San Marzano Tomatoes D.o.p., house made mozzarella, sopressata, Calabrian Chiles, fresh basil and just the right amount of honey for balance.

If you manage to save any room you must save room for one of the cheese cakes because they are the best in the valley. I don’t always like cheese cake because many of them are thick and taste sour to me. The cheese cake here is east coast style and is light in texture with the correct sweetness and touch of vanilla to it.

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This cheese was absolutely delicious! My husband always thought he hated cheese cake but this is a great one so even he liked it.

La Piazza Al Forno in Glendale AZ is Worth a Fork!

Worth a Fork! You'll drive from far if your wild about pizza and cheese cake.

Worth a Fork! You’ll drive from far if your wild about pizza and cheese cake.

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

 

Larry The Cable Guy’s TATER SALAD Tater Chips R Forking Good!

 

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I forking crack up a little bit almost every time I see Larry the Cable Guy Food all around at places I go. His name is on all kinds of boxed mixes, spice rubs, candies, a whole line of potato chips and I have no idea what else. Larry the Cable Guy is a multiplatinum recording artist, billboard award winner and a well known comedian.

When you purchase Larry TCG Potato Chips you are contributing to his non-profit Git-R-Done Foundation that Larry and his wife established. Every LTCG Food Purchase supports assistance to mostly veterans and children who have experienced hardship beyond their control.

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I finally broke down and had to try the Tater Salad Tater Chips. Honestly they might be the most realistic tasting flavored chip I ever tasted. THEY FORKING DO taste just like potato salad. You can taste all the ingredients of potato salad. You can taste potatoes, celery, mustard, vinegar, onions salt and pepper but are slightly sweet. The chips are smaller than most other brands, are thin and do have a light delicate texture. The only thing strange about them is the flavor dust they have on them. It’s almost like freeze dried potato salad coats the chips. Honestly these LTCG “Tater Salad” Tater Chips are better tasting at being potato salad than the last potato salad I tried out at a restaurant.

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I can’t forking tell you if the other LTCG Chips or products are good but I can say the Tater Salad Tater Chips are Forking Good!

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

 

WTFork is Broasted Chicken?

Broasted Chicken and Broasted Potatoes from Guido's Restaurant Scottsdale AZ

Broasted Chicken and Broasted Potatoes from Guido’s Restaurant Scottsdale AZ

Broasted is a cooking process trademarked by the Broaster Company. The broaster is a pressure fryer made for restaurant use. To make broasted chicken first the chicken is marinaded, then battered. The broasting process is suppose to make a juicier chicken with a crisp exterior. It’s suppose to lighter and healthier than deep frying.

This was the first time I tried broasted chicken. The restaurant I went to said they specialized in broasted chicken so I thought I’d give it a forking try.

The white meat was  very forking dry inside and lacked flavor of any kind. It was like forking chewing hay. But hay would have more flavor. Oddly the chicken got dryer and dryer as it sat on my plate. At this moment I wished I ordered something different.  I also wished I was in a different forking restaurant with better food. The exterior sort of flaked off and I think it was just plain flour and it seemed to lack any forking seasoning. I saved some for my dogs and they ate it but they didn’t wag their tails like they normally do when eating chicken.

the "GIVE me CHICKEN" face

“that chicken was FORKING DRY” “WTFork did you give me?”

That chicken was so bad it forking disappointed my dogs.

The potatoes faired better. They seemed light and fluffy inside but the thin crisp flour on the outside of the potatoes kept falling off. I should also mention to be fair my husband’s Hot house made sausage sandwich was good but slightly over cooked and had good but slightly dry sausage in it with nicely prepared peppers. He thought it was tasty.

The broasted chicken I tried is not forking typical of what broasted chicken is suppose to be. Also it might not be the typical that this restaurant always forking destroys broasted chicken. It’s a possibility that the regular cook was off and nobody marinated the chicken leaving the untrained dishwasher to do the best of his ability or at least that is what it forking seemed like. I note I don’t know WTFork they did to the broasted chicken.

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth is that some Metro Phoenix Restaurants DON’T HAVE PUBLIC RESTROOMS with update****

That's FORKED Up!

That’s FORKED Up!

When I forking moved to Phoenix Arizona I thought that every forking restaurant would have a public restroom. Then I started coming across more and more restaurants without forking restrooms. I thought that a guest of the restaurant should have a private place for hygiene or whatever and at the forking very least a forking hand washing station.

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Caribbean Cuisine in Glendale AZ serves up some delicious jerk chicken but you will feel like a jerk if you pee on the floor because there isn’t a public restroom here.

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Hummus Xpress in Tempe AZ doesn’t have a public restroom either.

Dazzo’s Dog House in Glendale AZ has been serving up some spicy beef for decades now but don’t wash your sandwich down with too much soda here either or you’re going be in trouble.

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Paprika is the tiniest restaurant I ever been in. This place might have been originally a forking closet. On my first visit here I felt claustrophobic but they rebranded themselves,  and redecorated more sensibly. They don’t have a public restroom but you can use the restroom next door because it’s the same ownership.

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If they  put a restroom in Paprika it would have to be a forking porta potty in the parking lot.

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Guido’s in Scottsdale AZ offers you refills in big glasses but your just going to have to hold it in.

Who’d ever forking guess that a James Beard Award wining Chef and Restauranteur would have a restaurant without a forking restroom.

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Pane Bianco in downtown Phoenix AZ doesn’t have a public restroom.****UPDATE since I wrote this in 2015 Pane Bianco expanded and now has a public restroom.

The Forking Truth is that some Metro Phoenix Area Restaurants don’t have public restrooms.

 The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!

Forking EZ Brined Chicken Roasted at HIGH Heat

 

 

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You can have forking juicy crispy chicken easily if you just brine it over night and then just forking rinse off, blot dry and toss in a 450 degree oven.

Brining is forking easy to do these days because your local grocery store might sell a 12 ingredient brine mixture so you don’t have to spend a forking fortune just finding all those spices. However you do need to add salt and sugar to use to use the brining spice. You can also add an ingredient or two to make it more your own. You just forking cook the brine spices to make the flavors come out and then add your water, salt and sugar and cook till dissolved. You let the brine cool and then pour on to your chicken and let sit overnight and simply roast it the next day. That’s forking easy isn’t it?

Ingredients for around 8 servings

Chicken (I used 4 leg quarters that weighed a total of 4 lbs. 9 0z.)

1 cup pickling spice (12 ingredients, coriander, cinnamon, mustard, ginger, fenugreek, bay, dill, red pepper, cloves, fennel, black pepper, allspice)

1 star anise

1 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup kosher salt

1 orange (I just used the juice I squeezed from it)

12 garlic cloves smashed

3 cups water

nonstick spray two light sprays for the baking sheets

Directions (set oven to 450 degree roast)

Cook all the dry spices (except for salt and sugar) in a sauce pot a minute or two till you can smell them.

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Then add your water, orange juice salt and sugar till it boils. Let the liquid cool. Put your chicken in a zip lock bag and when the brine mixture is cool then pour it into the bag with the chicken while trying to squeeze out all the air in the bag you can and seal. Then let the chicken sit over night in your refrigerator.

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Rinse off the chicken and blot dry.

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Line your baking sheets with foil logs so your chicken can have drainage and doesn’t steam as much. Apply and very light coating of nonstick spray to the pan.

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If you have a similar oven with similar size chicken to what was done here your chicken will be done in 30-35 minutes.

Here’s the 14 year old right by the oven waiting for chicken.

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30 and 35 minutes later here is the chicken.

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The chicken comes out delicious and perfect with a tasty crispy skin too.

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It’s very juicy too with lots of flavors.

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Part of the fan club is waiting for chicken.

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And That was Forking EZ Brined Chicken roasted a High Heat.

It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

 

 

WTFork is a Strata & South West Style Spicy Vegetable Strata Recipe

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A strata is a baked and layered egg dish that is often made of milk, bread, eggs and cheese but can include vegetables and or meat. Unlike bread pudding the strata is layered instead of all mixed up like a forking baked pudding. The strada sits in the refrigerator over night so the bread parts get custardy. Here is my recipe for a South West Style Spicy Vegetable Strata. This strata comes out deliciously flavorful, a little spicy, cheesy, light and fluffy almost like a forking soufflé.

Ingredients Makes about 10 servings

2 cups of chopped zucchini (I used local Mexican Zucchini)

1 scant cup of scallion whites

1 garlic clove minced

2 hot roasted hatch chilies with stem and seeds removed. (mine were super hot but mellowed just right in this dish. Yours might differ).  If you don’t keep hatch chilies in your freezer for year long use then use jalapeños to your liking I’d suggest about 2 depending on size and heat)

1 red bell pepper (remove stem & seeds) chopped

1 green bell pepper (remove stem and seeds) chopped

1/2 red onion chopped

3 Tablespoons butter

about 10 twist of fresh ground sea salt

about 10 twist of fresh ground black pepper

9 whole eggs

4 cups of nonfat milk (Usually when I use a lot of cheese or butter I try to balance with nonfat milk)

8 oz. pepper jack cheese (shredded)

8 oz. sharp cheddar cheese (shredded)

10 oz. jalapeño cheese bread cut up (I purchased from Sprouts It’s spicy with jalapeño)

5 1/2 oz. corn tortillas torn up

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper

Some nonstick spray for your pan and some to put on foil cover.

Day 1 Directions

Melt the butter in a fry pan on medium high heat and add all the vegetables and heat till they are soft. Add fresh ground salt and pepper and remove from burner and let cool.

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Mix well or whip up the eggs with milk and salt and pepper and set to the side.

Get out your pan and lightly spray it with nonstick spray.

Your first layer is about 1/3 of the bread and about 1/3 of the tortillas torn on pieces.

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Now spread on about 1/3 of the vegetables.

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Next is about 1/3 of the cheese.

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Add about 1/3 of the egg/milk mixture and keep layering the same way until you are done. tortillas/bread, vegetables, cheese, milk mixture and tortillas/bread, vegetables, cheese, milk mixture.

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Cover with plastic wrap and put in the refrigerator.

Day two Directions

Take Strata out of the refrigerator, set oven to 350 on bake and let the strata sit out about a half hour to warm slightly. Remove plastic wrap and loosely cover with foil that has been sprayed with nonstick oil to prevent sticking. The strata needs to be in the oven 45 minutes covered. After 45 minutes remove the foil.

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At this point your strata will NOT BE DONE YET and needs to go back in the oven for about 35 minutes uncovered.

After around 35 minutes it should look like this.

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In a few minutes you can dig in.

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It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

 

 

 

 

 

Forking Dinner Idea………Twin Pizza Calzone

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On TV I saw Andrew Zimmern in Italy on the travel channel and they visited this little popular pizza place that makes these trendy pizzas that are 1/2 and 1/2  pizzas with the forking end rolled up into a calzone. The pizzas had very different dough than traditional American Pizza’s and had very thin cracker-like crust. I liked the novel idea of this forking kind of pizza.

This is the first time I didn’t make my own forking dough. But this dough I used was gluten free and was on sale for $1.00 so I said to my WTFork! It will be great for a cracker like dough and a little forking  healthier too!

So I rolled it out very thin on a paddle with a little corn meal on both sides.

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I decided I’d stuff the calzone side with spaghetti squash mixed with some home made sauce and some cheese

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Then it got calzone shaped.

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Then I slid the dough off onto a preheated oven stone at the suggested temperature for the dough (400 degrees) till the dough looked crispy and done. (about 15 minutes)

I smeared a tangy cow’s milk cheese called stracchino on one half.

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Then topped that with arugula, a small amount of crushed almonds, extra virgin olive oil, sea salt, black pepper and shredded parmesan cheese.

The remaining half was based with roasted red pepper pesto and shaved fioro sardo hard cheese made from whole sheep’s milk cheese.

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It was something fun and different.

Calzone Twin Pizza

Twin Pizza Calzone

It's Forking Good and that's The Forking Truth!

It’s Forking Good and that’s The Forking Truth!

Some Animation Characters I Remember & The Food they Forking Ate

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Every time you watched the Flintstones you’d always forking see them at the Bronto Burgers and Ribs Drive Inn. The Flintstones were a working class modern stone-age family. They almost always ate forking big pieces of meat whenever you saw them eating.

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Besides the Bronto Burgers The Flintstones also tried the ribs a number of times.

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Fred and Barney also visited sit down restaurants. The soup sure doesn’t look so forking good.

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I couldn’t forking find a picture of Fred with his lunch box pulling out a GIANT Sandwich that were forking bigger than the lunch box but you can imagine it.  I did find a photo of Wilma and Betty grocery shopping.

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The Jetsons lived a space age lifestyle that differed very much from modern the stone-age Flintstones. I don’t recall poor old George Jetson eating anything better than a forking pill. I think it forking had something in it for his nerves too. But at least the pill was presented on a platter by his maid and housekeeper the outdated Rosie the Robot while his wife Jane was out shopping at Mooningdale’s? or something the fork like that.

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Tom and Jerry is a cartoon about a cat that wanted to eat a mouse named Jerry that lived in his house. Tom always was thinking about a Jerry Sandwich.

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Here’s a forking Jerry Sandwich….

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Jerry was just forking happy with cheese.

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The Simpson’s are the longest running and most successful cartoon in history. Homer Simpson loves to eat and drink and Donuts are his favorite food.

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Homer’s son Bart Simpson is forking associated with Butterfingers.

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Homer washes most things down with Duff Beer.

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Garfield the cat is well know for his passion for food but is best known for loving lasagna. He also is known for….”diet is ‘DIE’..with a ‘T.”

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Scobby Doo is a great dane that helps solve paranormal mysteries. Scobby doo needs his forking Scobby Snacks and his owner Shaggie always seemed stoned and also was always eating.

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Besides nuts and berries Yogi Bear and his side kick Boo Boo raid forking picnic baskets at Jellystone Park. If I recall correctly every forking show was about raiding picnic baskets.

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Popeye is well known for super human strength after eating spinach after getting pounded on by Brutus who always tries to make a forking move on Popeye’s girl Olive Oyl. ******Older cartoons made before the 60s featured Bluto as a similar Brutus character. They looked and acted very similar. The change had something to do with licensing and Bluto is suppose to be a different character than Brutus.

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A Disney movie called Lady and the Tramp was a romantic movie about a cocker spaniel named Lady and a mutt named Tramp. They enjoyed scraps from Tony’s Restaurant and Tony helped hide them from the Dog Catcher. This movie is forking well know for the spaghetti scene.

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Ratatouille is another Disney about a rat that has an interest in cooking. Unless you’ve been living under a forking rock you KNOW he cooks ratatouille.

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Bugs Bunny is a rabbit with a New York accent and a New York Attitude and also is a bit of a trickster. He has this catch phase he uses while always chomping on a carrot. “Eh…What’s up Doc?” Bugs Bunny is also the mascot of the Looney Tunes.

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And That’s All Folks!

That was some animation characters I remember and the foods they forking ate.

The Forking Truth!

The Forking Truth!