Every FORKING Time I see “New and Improved” on anything I know it really means “Now Forking Lousy”.

According to Wikipedia. Prior to 2006 (we don’t forking know exactly when) Breyer’s was well know for producing All Natural Ice-Cream. The Vanilla Flavor for example only contained, Milk, Cream, Sugar, and Vanilla.

They call this new forking stuff “Home Made Vanilla but I don’t know of any forking household that uses carob bean gum, mono and diglycerides, guar gum and tara gum so HOW THE FORK can that be a Homemade Recipe?

WTFork!

I didn’t buy it but the taste and texture can’t be the same. I read somewhere that this stuff isn’t actually Ice-Cream anymore. The ingredients aren’t the correct percent to be ice-cream and now this is just a Frozen Dairy Product.

This is Forked Up!

New and Improved always means “Now Forking Lousy”

Forking Truth

Favorites mean a Tweet is well liked among Twitter uses.

My Easy Chicken Gumbo

Easy Chicken Gumbo over Pink Rice

My White Sonora Berries in Dijon Sage Vinaigrette.

White Sonora Berries Salad in Dijon Sage Vinaigrette

My Basil Heirloom Carrots Two Ways.

Rainbow Carrots two ways with Apple, Basil and Black Rice

My Korean Leek Pancakes.

Zucchini and Korean Leek Whole Wheat Pancakes

and My Homemade Pizza.

He also favorited a Tweet my Pizza was forking mentioned in.

I thought that was very forking cool.

I just feel like bragging.

Forking Truth

When you dine with friends, neighbors or relatives you will find they have preferences that differ from yours.

Some people don’t like spices and prefer bland food.

Some people like lean meat while others prefer fatty meat.

You also meet people who don’t eat meat.

You might dine with a family that doesn’t eat anything vegetable.

You might dine with someone that makes all their desserts out of Jell-O and everything is semi-homemade.

Some people only prefer to eat only foods they were brought up with from their family and are not open to trying cuisines of other people.

Some people always have to eat French Fries with Pizza.

Some people cook burgers  dry and chewy and use that cheap cheese that doubles as plastic.

Some people enjoy sweets and other people don’t.

AND A GROUP OF PEOPLE CAN NEVER AGREE ON ONE FORKING FLAVOR OF ICE-CREAM.

Dining with other people is interesting.

Forking Truth

According to answers.com

66% of the World’s Garlic comes from China. Just look at any forking granulated garlic in your kitchen.  If you look at the fine print you will read it’s from China.  Most of the fresh garlic from your grocery store is also from China.

5% of the garlic comes from South Korea

Another 5% of the garlic comes from India

And ONLY 3% is grown in the USA

I forking guess the leftover 21% is spread thin across the world or unknown.

Garlic has been found to be useful for killing bacterias and viruses.

Garlic reduces your risk for heart disease, lung cancer, allergies and has been found to be an immune booster.

And that’s some forking truth about Garlic.

Forking Truth

Japanese Yam

The Japanese Yam is so tasty and delicious. I love to prepare it in a very simple way. I just love to eat it as oven baked fries. It’s sweet and almost chestnut tasting with a banana almost aftertaste. So I just used a teaspoon of my home made Hot Spicy Green Ketchup recipe posted a few pages back and whipped a banana into it.  I do note the Spicy Green Ketchup recipe was made with the extra hot peppers I had around my freezer and can be made with different peppers or less hot peppers.

To make Japanese Yam Oven Fries I just set my oven to 375 and cut one large Japanese yam in steak fry wedges. and placed them on a lightly oiled pan. I also lightly sprayed the yam wedges with canola oil. They roasted for about 35 minutes. They got fresh crushed Sea Salt and Fresh Ground Black Pepper as they came out of the oven.

They are very tasty. Try one!

Forking Good!

After passing out Halloween Candy out a number of years I learned that today’s kids don’t care for the same candies that were favorites of mine. It seems that Halloween Candy goes out of style just like fashion changes.

Kid’s from my day liked Reese’s Cups, Peppermint Patties, and M&Ms the best! We were given many other candies like Goldenberg Chews, Chewy Banana Pops, Tootsie rolls, Pixie Stixs, Rolls of Sugar Dots and Smartees too!

Today’s kid’s don’t eat candy with peanuts or peanut butter because they have forking allergies. I have no idea why they aren’t crazy for M&M’s or Peppermint Patties. I tried giving them out only a year or two ago and they didn’t move.

After years of passing out different candies the one that stands out HIGH above the rest universally with today’s children are……..

Last year I served 82 Halloweener’s and 43 out of 82 picked the Giant Pixie Stixs. Kid’s like pure Forking Yards of Sugar! They are the cheapest candy to forking give out too. They 50 to a box and weren’t much more than $10.00.

In second Place was the Plain Hershey Bar as 24 out of 82 picked that. Hershey Bars have been around forever every bodies Grandparents ate them. They are still around but just are pretty far behind Giant Pixie Sticks.

15 kids picked assorted other things and one at the bottom was boxes of Cracker Jack. I guess the disappointing prizes make the pop corn treat less appealing or maybe it’s the peanuts in them that I forgot about?

Forking Truth

The FORKING Truth about American Cheese is that it can NOT be legally called Cheese. It really is a forking processed product made from a blend of Milk.

Milk Fats, some sort of forking milk fats,  solids (that sounds like forking poop to me), other forking fats, and whey protein.

Some of these American Cheese products are forking better than others.

American Cheese that squirts out of a forking can really sucks! You should use it as bug spray. The bugs will sufflocate really quick!

The plastic wrapped sheets of cheese like product don’t forking taste much different than the plastic they are wrapped with. They are like melting plastic on your forking food.

When you sit on the pot and call it a Whiz…..Why the heck would you want to eat Cheese Whiz?

Some budget supermarkets sell some sort of American Slices that are really Milk Jell-o. that is really forking gross.

Higher end better tasting  American Cheeses are the sharp varieties that actually have more real cheese in them.

The Best American Processed Slice I ever tasted was Cooper Sharp American. It really was so close to real cheese I thought it was real. Nothing else really is close.

Edible options are New Yorker American and Boarshead American.

Other than Cooper Sharp, New Yorker and Boarshead what you get is something that some people would say no whey or oy vay.

Forking Truth

According to Snopes.com those really cute Baby Carrots that you buy at your grocery store for snacks are really made from forking deformed Big Carrots.

After being cut to the perfect size they are soaked in FORKING Chlorine.

After they sit a little while in your refrigerator  you will notice a forking white slime that’s the chlorine working it’s way out.

WTFork!

Are people really too forking lazy to cut up a fresh carrot?

I have no explanation on why the FORK someone would think of doing this to a vegetable and sell this as food to mostly children.

Forking Truth

I guess my days were the Forking Old Days when it comes to boxed cereal. I remember when most of the cereals you ate from your childhood were mostly normal.  We’d get cereals like Corn Flakes, Wheaties, maybe once in a while Frosted Flakes, and sometimes something a little crazy like Snap Crackle Pop Rice Krispies, Quisp or Freakies. But Normal has been killed and is dead now. These days kids get…….

Cereal that looks like a Jar or Peanut Butter.

Cereal that looks like Forking Chocolates.

Cereal that looks like Sprinkled Donuts.

Cereal that looks Really SCARY!

Cinnamon Buns?

I bet some kids just pull out real cinnamon buns and eat them in the cereal bowl. (I would)

Even some of the cereals I remember look different to me now.

Captain Crunch looks Crazy doesn’t he? Maybe that’s what the “C” on his hat is for.

Ooou! It’s magically weird!

That rabbit looks forking twisted. New Fruitier Taste? What was it before the old forking rotten something like fruit taste?

I don’t want to (excuse the bad pun) milk it for too long. I’m forking out of here.

Forking Truth

I was Forking wandering threw the Asian and International Market and in the Polish Aisle were these bags of Lay’s Creamy Forest Mushroom Potato Chips so I had to forking try them.

Nearly all of the other flavored Lay’s Potato Chips that I tried were forking disgusting (particularly the Mango Salsa)  or disappointing (like the FORKING WASABI GINGER) (( that I submitted for the Lay’s 2014 do me a flavor contest, but my submission wasn’t forking picked))…  For some unknown reason I was possessed to try these Creamy Forest Mushroom Chips.

These flavored chips are unlike any other I tried. The aroma is odd and you question yourself if you want to eat them. For a split second when you taste them your not sure what your tasting but then they suddenly turn very “natural tasting”. They taste just like creamy very fresh mushroomy soup.  They taste like mostly natural mushrooms with a little seasoned cream sauce but way more mushroom taste than sauce. The after taste just get more mushroomy and the finish is a very tasty natural potato taste.

I’m not sure if I want to buy them again but these were the forking best of the flavored Lay’s Chips I have tried.

I haven’t found the European Lay’s Do us a flavor contenders but the one running are-

Chop Shop Chicken Curry

Pulled Pork in Sticky BBQ Sauce

Sizzling Steak Fajita

Cheesy Beans on Toast

Hot Dog with Tomato Ketchup

and if those weren’t bad enough….get ready to forking GAG!

Ranch Raccoon

The European Lay’s Contest Winner is to be announced October 17th 2014

Forking Truth