Japanese Yam

The Japanese Yam is so tasty and delicious. I love to prepare it in a very simple way. I just love to eat it as oven baked fries. It’s sweet and almost chestnut tasting with a banana almost aftertaste. So I just used a teaspoon of my home made Hot Spicy Green Ketchup recipe posted a few pages back and whipped a banana into it.  I do note the Spicy Green Ketchup recipe was made with the extra hot peppers I had around my freezer and can be made with different peppers or less hot peppers.

To make Japanese Yam Oven Fries I just set my oven to 375 and cut one large Japanese yam in steak fry wedges. and placed them on a lightly oiled pan. I also lightly sprayed the yam wedges with canola oil. They roasted for about 35 minutes. They got fresh crushed Sea Salt and Fresh Ground Black Pepper as they came out of the oven.

They are very tasty. Try one!

Forking Good!

After passing out Halloween Candy out a number of years I learned that today’s kids don’t care for the same candies that were favorites of mine. It seems that Halloween Candy goes out of style just like fashion changes.

Kid’s from my day liked Reese’s Cups, Peppermint Patties, and M&Ms the best! We were given many other candies like Goldenberg Chews, Chewy Banana Pops, Tootsie rolls, Pixie Stixs, Rolls of Sugar Dots and Smartees too!

Today’s kid’s don’t eat candy with peanuts or peanut butter because they have forking allergies. I have no idea why they aren’t crazy for M&M’s or Peppermint Patties. I tried giving them out only a year or two ago and they didn’t move.

After years of passing out different candies the one that stands out HIGH above the rest universally with today’s children are……..

Last year I served 82 Halloweener’s and 43 out of 82 picked the Giant Pixie Stixs. Kid’s like pure Forking Yards of Sugar! They are the cheapest candy to forking give out too. They 50 to a box and weren’t much more than $10.00.

In second Place was the Plain Hershey Bar as 24 out of 82 picked that. Hershey Bars have been around forever every bodies Grandparents ate them. They are still around but just are pretty far behind Giant Pixie Sticks.

15 kids picked assorted other things and one at the bottom was boxes of Cracker Jack. I guess the disappointing prizes make the pop corn treat less appealing or maybe it’s the peanuts in them that I forgot about?

Forking Truth

The FORKING Truth about American Cheese is that it can NOT be legally called Cheese. It really is a forking processed product made from a blend of Milk.

Milk Fats, some sort of forking milk fats,  solids (that sounds like forking poop to me), other forking fats, and whey protein.

Some of these American Cheese products are forking better than others.

American Cheese that squirts out of a forking can really sucks! You should use it as bug spray. The bugs will sufflocate really quick!

The plastic wrapped sheets of cheese like product don’t forking taste much different than the plastic they are wrapped with. They are like melting plastic on your forking food.

When you sit on the pot and call it a Whiz…..Why the heck would you want to eat Cheese Whiz?

Some budget supermarkets sell some sort of American Slices that are really Milk Jell-o. that is really forking gross.

Higher end better tasting  American Cheeses are the sharp varieties that actually have more real cheese in them.

The Best American Processed Slice I ever tasted was Cooper Sharp American. It really was so close to real cheese I thought it was real. Nothing else really is close.

Edible options are New Yorker American and Boarshead American.

Other than Cooper Sharp, New Yorker and Boarshead what you get is something that some people would say no whey or oy vay.

Forking Truth

According to Snopes.com those really cute Baby Carrots that you buy at your grocery store for snacks are really made from forking deformed Big Carrots.

After being cut to the perfect size they are soaked in FORKING Chlorine.

After they sit a little while in your refrigerator  you will notice a forking white slime that’s the chlorine working it’s way out.

WTFork!

Are people really too forking lazy to cut up a fresh carrot?

I have no explanation on why the FORK someone would think of doing this to a vegetable and sell this as food to mostly children.

Forking Truth

I guess my days were the Forking Old Days when it comes to boxed cereal. I remember when most of the cereals you ate from your childhood were mostly normal.  We’d get cereals like Corn Flakes, Wheaties, maybe once in a while Frosted Flakes, and sometimes something a little crazy like Snap Crackle Pop Rice Krispies, Quisp or Freakies. But Normal has been killed and is dead now. These days kids get…….

Cereal that looks like a Jar or Peanut Butter.

Cereal that looks like Forking Chocolates.

Cereal that looks like Sprinkled Donuts.

Cereal that looks Really SCARY!

Cinnamon Buns?

I bet some kids just pull out real cinnamon buns and eat them in the cereal bowl. (I would)

Even some of the cereals I remember look different to me now.

Captain Crunch looks Crazy doesn’t he? Maybe that’s what the “C” on his hat is for.

Ooou! It’s magically weird!

That rabbit looks forking twisted. New Fruitier Taste? What was it before the old forking rotten something like fruit taste?

I don’t want to (excuse the bad pun) milk it for too long. I’m forking out of here.

Forking Truth

I was Forking wandering threw the Asian and International Market and in the Polish Aisle were these bags of Lay’s Creamy Forest Mushroom Potato Chips so I had to forking try them.

Nearly all of the other flavored Lay’s Potato Chips that I tried were forking disgusting (particularly the Mango Salsa)  or disappointing (like the FORKING WASABI GINGER) (( that I submitted for the Lay’s 2014 do me a flavor contest, but my submission wasn’t forking picked))…  For some unknown reason I was possessed to try these Creamy Forest Mushroom Chips.

These flavored chips are unlike any other I tried. The aroma is odd and you question yourself if you want to eat them. For a split second when you taste them your not sure what your tasting but then they suddenly turn very “natural tasting”. They taste just like creamy very fresh mushroomy soup.  They taste like mostly natural mushrooms with a little seasoned cream sauce but way more mushroom taste than sauce. The after taste just get more mushroomy and the finish is a very tasty natural potato taste.

I’m not sure if I want to buy them again but these were the forking best of the flavored Lay’s Chips I have tried.

I haven’t found the European Lay’s Do us a flavor contenders but the one running are-

Chop Shop Chicken Curry

Pulled Pork in Sticky BBQ Sauce

Sizzling Steak Fajita

Cheesy Beans on Toast

Hot Dog with Tomato Ketchup

and if those weren’t bad enough….get ready to forking GAG!

Ranch Raccoon

The European Lay’s Contest Winner is to be announced October 17th 2014

Forking Truth

According to Consumer Reports Magazine June 2013 The Forking Truth is that half of all Ground Meat Packages tested positive for forking Fecal Matter.  Grind your Meat Yourself. Unless you want to eat forking  Sh*t.

Coarsely Hand Chopped Chicken

Forking Truth

On mindless forking TV Shows I sometimes watch I hear many people almost screaming “Halla”.  I know Challah Bread taste good are they screaming for Challah? It’s almost like a forking greeting. “Halla” “halla”…..

Every time I hear that “Halla” I think of Challah Bread that braided egg bread made from white flour, eggs, water, sugar, yeast and salt. If I was a forking manufacturer of bread I might name my bread “Halla Bread”.  Is that a million dollar idea$ ?

To try to understand the meaning of Halla I looked it up on the Urban Dictionary and to my surprise this is what I forking found.

Halla has forking nothing to do with bread and only Douche Bags use this greeting.

Guess I won’t name my bread Halla.

So I made an egg bread.

I just winged it making it similar to the way I make pizza dough but I added eggs and a little honey and brushed it with an egg.  It’s not braided so it’s not a Challah.

Next time you hear someone screaming “Halla” just forking stuff some bread in his face.

Forking Truth

Chips Ahoy was a forking 1956 Disney Film featuring Donald Duck and co-staring Chip and Dale. I don’t know if they have anything to do with the Nabisco Cookie but thought that was interesting.

According to Wikipedia Nabisco Chips Ahoy Cookies debuted in 1963 and are the second best selling packaged cookies in the United States just after Forking Oreos. Also according to old comic strips that used to be on the package Chips Ahoy Cookies have 16 Chocolate Chips in each Cookie.

When I was a kid I only remember one flavor of Chips Ahoy Cookies, and didn’t eat them and still don’t but my sister did.

Today the flavor that I forking remember is called “Original” That bag of cookies wasn’t forking called “Original” was I was a kid it was just the only normal forking flavor they made.

But since that cookie sells so well they need to make another FORKING DOZEN kinds of this cookie.

Chewy

Chewy Reeses

Reeses

Chunky

Chewy Oreo Cream Filled (WTFork?)

Chewy Birthday Frosting filled (WTFork Fork!)

Chewy Gooey (looks like a day for Ammonium A.D.) Just look at that word gooey doesn’t it look like something a dog can forking squirt out?

Chewy Brownie filled (this one looks constipated)

Chewy Root Beer Float (someone must have been on weed to think of this flavor)

Chewy Mocha Chunk (Mocha is my least favorite flavor…)

Dulce de Leche (doesn’t look as forking awful as the previous ones)

Chewy Mint Chocolate Chip (?)

According to Wikipedia Nabisco produced a Chips Ahoy in Jell-o Chips Ahoy Pudding . (WTFork!)

This ship is Forking Wrecked!

Forking Truth

I enjoy TV Shows likes Parts Unknown where Anthony Bourdain Takes Gastronomic Adventures with the locals. So while in Mexico we decided to take the Vallarta Eats Signature Taco Tour where we ate at a variety of mostly Street Stands where only locals eat.

Birria Ricky

The first taco spot was called Birria Ricky.  We were told these were the very best less than a $1.00 Beef Tacos you can get anywhere. The beef was slow simmered in consume and you are offered a variety of fresh toppings for your double shelled Birria Beef Taco.

Birria Beef Taco

Our next stop was another Birria Beef Taco but this one differed as it was Fried.

Fried Birria Beef Taco

It tasted different than other fried beef tacos I tried as the shell had a rich flavor. I mentioned that it tasted different to me and was told it taste different because they brush the shell with beef juice.

Birria Chanfay

I didn’t have to stand in the street to eat this taco. The owner of this humble taco stand uses his driveway as his restaurant. We were provided with not all but most comforts of a restaurant, tables, chairs, napkins and assorted sauces.

Marisma’s Fish Taco

Possibly the most successful of the Taco Stands is Marisma’s for their Fish Tacos and Smoked Marlin. Everyone I spoke to measures all fish tacos by Marisma’s. The batter dipped fresh Maui Maui Fish Taco is topped with fresh cabbage salad and what really makes it tasty are all the close to a half dozen home made sauces they offer you. Marisma’s has been around I think for 30 years and they have opened two actual restaurant stand locations.

On the Street Bread and Pastry Vendor

We saw a man wearing this Big Basket Hat carrying Fresh Baked Breads and Pastries. We all got to take one back with us to try latter. I took a Pineapple Coconut One and it was good. I had no idea The Mexicans have French Influenced Baked Goods.

Tortillera Tortilla Factory

We stopped at a Tortilla Factory and learned the price of tortillas is set by the government. Many Mexicans are very poor and some only live on tortillas. A large amount of fresh tortillas can be purchased for almost nothing. I think we got about 12 for 15 cents. Nearly all the tortillas in this part of Mexico are made from 100% white corn and a small amount of water. The fresh warm tortilla I tasted differed from any other tortilla I ever tasted anywhere.

Ceviche Tostado

I learned that Mexican Ceviche is always cooked. The name of the casual restaurant we ate these Tostados at was called El Colera. The restaurant is small and casual but looked very clean. They also served several condiments with this Toastado. One sauce was a extremely spicy chili oil. We also had spicy picked onions, and fresh lemon (lime they call lime lemon here).

El Moreno

We had Quesadillas at El Moreno. The Corn Flour Tortilla is made right before your eyes and then gets filled with meat and onions.

Beef Quesadilla

My beef was very tasty but a little tough here. I really enjoyed the roasted Jalapeño that came with it. The Jalapeño was roasted just right and was spicy but had a great sweetness to it at the same time and elevated the quesadilla.

I didn’t take a picture of it but I tried a Guanabana Frozen Pop. It didn’t have a particular interesting flavor on it’s own but is suppose to be the new super food and many people believe it cures many ailments.  The frozen treat shop offered many home made fozen fruit pops and sorbets. The name of the shop was called La Michoacana.

We also visited a candy shop called Azteca. They do many products with coconut, seeds, grains and coffee. They also sell sweet liquors and they keep offering you samples. I think besides the fresh roasted pumpkin seeds I liked the spicy sweet but tangy Cucumber candy the best.

In addition to the Vallarta Eats Tour I had huiltacoche and Squash Blossom Quesadillas at the Vellas Vallarta Resort.

The squash blossom has little flavor on it’s own but was something different. The Huiltacoche had a woodsy savory almost sweet mushroomy flavor that was far more interesting.

We heard the very best Tortas in Town are made at Malibu Jugos Y Cafe so we went there on our own.

Tuna Torta

I don’t know what makes a tortas the best but I can tell you mine was made on fresh baked bread that was slightly sweet and buttered. We had two tortas and a very large Lemon (lime) water to drink and I think we only spent about seven dollars.

Adios Amigo!

Forking Truth