Real Mango Salsa is Delicious as it’s Sweet, Savory and Herbaceous and Lay’s Mango Salsa Potato Chips are also sweet and savory BUT ARE NOT delicious to me and also to everyone I know who forking tried them.

This is Forked Up!

They tasted like something oddly fruity when you first try them and then the flavor turns into a forking indescribable unpleasantness of confusion. They taste sort of like Forking Fruity Pebbles and then the flavor changes in an unpleasant way.  It sort of turns to something like Salty Ranch Potato Chips Mixed Together but not as good and actually really horrible leaving a sort of FORKING Chewing gum aftertaste. This is the kind of food you feed to criminals in jail not the public! These Chips tasted like punishment.

WTFork!

I was disappointed with the Lay’s Wasabi Ginger Chips.

But these Mango Salsa Chips made me want to Forking vomit and now my trash can is full of FORKING Lay’s Mango Salsa Chips.

I don’t understand how these Forkers made it out of the Lab.

I also feel forking bad for the poor sap Julia who came up with this flavor because I KNOW her Mango Salsa Idea wasn’t FORKING THIS!

Two of the Four Flavors Down (sort of) and the other two I think I might avoid. This has been a bumpy ride.

Forking Truth

I never ate a forking Twinkie but they remind me of my Childhood because I think about the local bakeries from my childhood where we’d  buy “real” Baked Goods and not Twinkies.

As an adult Twinkies also sort of grossed me out something about the 37 ingredients that are mostly forking chemicals always nauseated me.

This flavor reminds me of a Dog’s Butt.

I grew up in an area where we had many bakeries. These days we don’t forking have  as many bakeries. Not all but many people just for convenience just pick up whatever chemically laden baked goods their local supermarket sells. I grew up were we had many German Bakeries, Jewish Bakeries and Italian Bakeries. All these bakeries made “REAL” baked goods using Fresh Cream, Butter and Eggs. They all made delicious baked goods that were like what you’d make at home only if you were a Master Baker. When you walked into any of these bakeries you’d be hit with the appetizing aromas of fresh baked breads and sweet smelling sweets.  You would hear the loud clunky roar of the Electric Bread Slicer with a long line of people purchasing their “real” bread for the week.

None of the Bakeries would make anything that looked like the Blue Forking Cow Fat filled Twinkie.

I think most people from my time might have grown up like me. You’d go with your parents to a local Bakery and they’d buy Fresh Baked Breads for the week and your parents would let you pick out a sweet to eat. If you were like me the Old Woman working at the bakery would hand you a fresh baked cookie or two just because you were a kid.

I don’t think kids today have the same simple pleasures.

I think today a baked good might be a Twinkie for a kid today.

I never ate a Twinkie but Twinkies remind me of my Childhood.

Forking Truth

Before you forking toss your Balsamic Vinegar out you need to know.

Not ALL Balsamic Vinegars contain lead and some contain more lead than others but MANY Balsamic Vinegars contain trace amounts of lead.

(according to naturalnews.com) Forking research is beginning to show that vinegars that are aged for the longest amounts of time in wooden barrels are the ones that contain dangerously high levels of lead.

Some people believe the lead is from grapes that absorb lead from the soil they grow in.

Nobody’s going around saying don’t eat forking raisins or grapes.

So forking buy the cheap stuff when it comes to Balsamic Vinegar.

Forking Truth

Lay’s currently has this Contest going on called “Do Us A Flavor” and the Four Finalist Flavors have been forking Selected. I think they were something like Bacon Mac “n” Cheese,  Mango Salsa, Some sort of Coffee Flavor and Wasabi Ginger. ( I read somewhere when first announced Ginger Wasabi possibly a typo)

When I forking heard about the Wasabi Flavor being a finalist I was forking bummed because I submitted that flavor almost as soon as the contest was announced and I FORKING wanted to be the finalist. Well I really FORKING wanted to win the million dollars too!

I printed my flavor out 1-17-14

So I decided to purchase and try what my flavor would taste like.

WTFork!

It’s Ok and edible and not awful like some of the fake cheese flavored chips. But the chips aren’t the spicy Wasabi Flavor I was hoping for, I keep tasting them hoping to suck more Wasabi taste in my mouth. They also don’t have much Ginger taste either. The chips  taste more like Mild Asian Dipping Sauce that is oddly asidic and on the salty side.  The Lay’s Wasabi Ginger Potato Chips are sort of disappointing. I do like the crunch of them but I almost feel like slapping on some real wasabi and ginger on them to satisfy my wasabi craving.

Well I won’t win the Forking Million Dollars and Nobody can be disappointed with me for the Lay’s Wasabi Ginger Potato Chips.

Forking Truth

Sometimes you get these Great FORKING Deals on Groupon and OTHER Groupon-Like sites.

These Groupon and Groupon-Like Sites are internet sites were you can purchase and print vouchers for discounted rates on merchandise, services and or Restaurant Deals.

It can be something like a Forking $100.00 deal for $49.00 or a $200.00 Steal for $80.00.

For Restaurants some Groupon-Like Sites require a predetermined gratuity added to your bill so you don’t forking jip your server.

Other Groupon and Groupon-Like sites let the consumer leave a voluntary gratuity BUT DO HAVE fine print printed on the voucher and their internet site that you should leave 15%-20% of pre-discounted price.

Don’t Jip! Forking Leave the Tip!

Forking Truth

Restaurant Week does differ. The restaurants usually create a 3 course meal at a slightly lower check average than what you normally would pay at that restaurant. Restaurant Week sometimes is considered the “Special.” If you had a positive exsperience you should tip around 20% or plus.

Even if you don’t own a forking restaurant or have a boat load of people to cook for Great Bargains can be found at a Restaurant Supply Store. I do note it is helpful to have an extra freezer. I also note not all forking restaurant supply stores let the public shop in their stores.

How about getting Bags of 5-6 Red Bell Peppers for around $2.00 a bag?  I purchased several forking bags and roasted up a bunch and froze. I also sautéed up a bunch and froze some too.

One time when I went I got a forking 5 pounds of forking parsnips for around $2.00! I managed to use them all between making soup, parsnip fries and parsnip keftedes (vegetarian Greek Style meatballs).

I liked getting 40 pounds of fresh Chicken quarters for $24.00. I just cooked and cleaned up a big batch of some and got a  forking “stock pile” in my freezer.

Picked up a box of Frozen Walleye Pike. Made some in pan fried and brushed with my forking home made mustard recipe and crisp onions. They came out great! The whole forking box of fish cost as much as one dinner out for two would have cost!

Canola High Heat Cooking spray is a bargain too. Not only is it a bigger can for less than half the money of a supermarket price it a forking higher quality spray without that long list of chemicals.

You say Tomato.

Tomato

I got Tomatoes!

Just for fun (and possibly turbulent  sleeping conditions) I picked up a number 10 can (that’s over 7 pounds) of Vegetarian Refried Beans for around $4.50 as someone in the house is really found of refried beans.  Got some in the fridge, got a a few containers in the freezer.

Some things aren’t a bargain  for a the regular consumer like packaged or canned tuna fish. I need that in smaller portions.

Sometimes the store gives you stuff for free with your purchase! But I didn’t need a forking 30 pounds of fryer fat or 50 pounds of onions.

They also sell lots of fun equipment like ice machines, fryers and flat top grills. But I can forking fit any of them in my house.

I enjoy everything I purchased from the Restaurant Supply Store because I only purchased what I can use and what were bargains.

Great bargains can be found at a Restaurant Supply Store.

Forking Truth

The Asiana Market in Glendale Arizona sells more varieties of Peppers than I can forking mention. Some that I forking remember were Jalapeños, Thai Chili’s, Korean Peppers, Bell Peppers and Anaheim’s but these are the ones I purchased.

Twisted or Shishito Peppers. These Shishito peppers are featured on many better restaurant’s menus across the country.

Shishito Peppers

Shishitos from FnB Restaurant Scottsdale AZ

Shishitos from Zazu Kitchen and Farm Sebastopol CA

My Shishitos with Balsamic Glaze, Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Italian Hard Cheese, Watermelon Kernels, Basil and Black Pepper.

They also had Banana Peppers.

Banana Peppers

And Italian Chilies!

Italian Chilies

I picked up a Jar of Cherry Peppers.

Cherry Peppers

And a Jar of Grilled Cayenne Peppers!

Grilled Cayenne Peppers

I then decided I had enough forking peppers and picked up some forking Date Molasses because that’s really hard to find.

Date Molasses

I didn’t buy the Old Squash but I saw they had some.

Old Squash

I did buy the Yu Choy because that cooks up like Good Spinach.

Yu Choy

They had Dosekai and maybe I’ll try them next time.

Asiana Market is a Pepper Paradise and More!

Forking Truth

Lay’s Potato Chips will give some forking lucky person (not me as I haven’t been contacted yet) a million Forking Dollars to come up with the Next Great Potato Chip Flavor.

I liked that you could pick your style of chip and also could have a say in your bag design. I thought this was a pretty forking easy contest to enter so everyday for a while I entered in flavors.

I entered 70 Forking Flavors!

Some Flavors were forking favored more than others.

The ones that got the most favored were-

Kimchi and Fried Rice

Moroccan Chermoula

Cheesy Frittata

Brown Butter and Shallots

Spicy Szechwan Eggplant

Mozzarella Cream and Tomato Relish

Gruyere Porchini

Za’atar

Coconut Marshmallow

Lay’s does put out a disclaimer that favored doesn’t mean forking squat.

There also were many flavors that got forking ZERO interest.

Szechwan Peppercorn

French Almond Croissant

Cheesy Croissant

Munster Cheese and Ghost Pepper (I thought that one was forking good……..Munster, Ghost  get it?)

Cheese Calzone

Smoked Tomato Cream

And my in-between flavors were

Jamaican Pickapeppa

Harissa Vinaigrette

Smoked Beets, Goat Cheese and Almonds

Spicy Middle Eastern Skhug

Fried Dill Pickle

Argentinean Chimichurri

Potato Knish

Depending on how the Chips fall some forking lucky person will win the Lay’s Do Us a Flavor Contest (but I’m pretty forking sure I lost)

Forking Truth

I was forking strolling threw my closest Supermarket by the cottage section and noticed they still don’t carry fat free cottage cheese.  I turned this one corner and it was WORST than the Oreo Aisle. All I saw was a World of Pop-Tarts and was Forking Overwhelmed!

There was forking so many I couldn’t count them all.

Don’t worry they have forking more and even if you don’t want the Pop-Tart brand the store has provided forking impostor Pop-Tarts!

And Forking More!

Even FORKING More!

These aren’t even forking enough!

And then you need your forking special addition flavor.

Pop-Tarts is a brand of rectangular pre-baked pastries that are meant to be warmed up in your toaster over and made by Kellogg Company.

The original flavors were Strawberry, Blueberry, Brown Sugar Cinnamon and Apple Currant.

These days Pop-Tarts can be found in a forking 25 various flavors and forking special edition flavors.

The packaging for Pop-tarts was groundbreaking technology invented to keep dog food fresh. (FORKING TRUTH!)

I was Forking Overwhelmed by Pop-Tarts! (and this supermarket still doesn’t forking carry any brand of fat free cottage cheese)

Forking Truth