I have a new love for raw Zucchini as a noodle because I have found many uses for it this week.

I made a nice little Mexican Inspired Side Dish.

An Americanized Vietnamese Style Rice Paper Roll.

An Alternate to pasta.

I’m liking Raw Zucchini these days, you might too!

Forking Good!

I only needed Fat Free Cottage Cheese and a few other forking  things so I thought I’d hit my closest grocery store for those things. Not one brand of any kind of Fat Free Forking Cottage could be found. I thought I’d move on and sight see and pick up whatever else the Fork I needed.

I breeze threw the snack aisle and my mouth drops open when I see all the Forking varieties of Oreo Cookies. I know they put out special ones different times of year but I had no idea it was normal to forking have so many varieties. Four of the varieties were called creamies and were one cookie with a different flavor cream Forking Embalmed  in chocolate.

I saw ALL THESE on the Forking shelf!

I don’t know how many different forking  kinds I saw but this forking store has screwed up priorities.

No WHEY was Forking Fat Free Cottage to be found.

I don’t even eat Oreos. How many kinds do I need?

Forking Truth

There are a few forking circumstances when you can and should send food back in a restaurant.

1- If food you receive has something forking gross in it like a used finger bandage, packaging material, chewing gum, tooth pic or some other kind of not a food kind of object.

Not Worth a Fork

2- Burnt or really over forking cooked food.

Not Worth a Fork

3- Forking Raw or really undercooked food.

Not Worth a Fork

4- A Totally unexpected ingredient not revealed that’s something your allergic too or just don’t forking eat. I do note the RIGHT thing to do is to reveal all allergies or dislikes when ordering but sometimes these are surprises you don’t expect.

Not Worth a Fork

A difficult one to decide on is Seasoning. On one hand if you order something spicy and you are too forking  whimpy to eat it you are screwed, you Can’t send that back. If it’s slightly salty you sort of are forking screwed too but if you received a massive salt bomb or massive salt malfunction then it’s OK to send back.

Most times you really can’t send food back but if you do tell the wait person in a forking nice way. If they take something off your bill you should tip on all the forking food you received.

Forking Truth

Have a Knife Day and see Ya Spoon!

Tom’s Thumb Fresh Market Scottsdale AZ

After my most recent less than stellar meal out I’m forking convinced whenever I see Teens as the forking cooks in a kitchen I’m going to have a messed up meal. I recently went to a BBQ Bistro in Scottsdale AZ. This place has GREAT ratings on all the forking review sites. I did see all teens threw the open part of the kitchen and sort of worried but ordered something anyway.

The Brisket Sandwich I received really did have a very good flavor but somehow someone ruined it because I received it just warm and forking very dry. All I saw were Teens. I know this is an Award Winning BBQ Place  but I was here when the Teens were on.

Thee Pitts Again Glendale AZ

Another Award Winning BBQ place I went too had all TEENS working the forking night I went. I had a pretty good view from this mostly open kitchen.  Besides some service problems I encountered from a teen, I received dry, almost cold BBQ  food with forking dry cracked corn bread.

Thee Pitts Again Glendale AZ  Dry and almost Cold BBQ

Anther Forking place with an open kitchen and lots of TEENs working was A Certain Well Known Hot Dog Place in Tempe Arizona. I didn’t take a photo of the food from there but I should have. The main foods we tried were good. But I got this  Forking Iced Tea that seemed like a mixture of diet cola soda SYRUP and who know’s what else. I also remembered we ordered a side of onion rings. We received a bag of mostly just Forking crumbs! I didn’t feel like complaining to the teens working there. We just left and never Forking went back.

FROM NOW ON WHENEVER I SEE TEENS as the COOKS I WILL FORKING GET THE FORK OUT OF THERE!

Forking Truth

Some restaurants don’t have kitchens with a view. I possibly received less than stellar foods from some Teens I didn’t see cooking.

I note I don’t know if Teens were responsible for all the improperly prepared foods I received.

Has this ever happened to you? I was waiting for my meal to be served to me at a restaurant and didn’t unroll my silverware until my meal arrived. If I simply unrolled my forking silverware I would have known how forking  filthy the restaurant really was and would have left. Two of the four silverware rolls were very filthy. I used my glass of water to soak and clean the fork I used as best as I could. I couldn’t help but think if the silverware was filthy then the plates must be forking filthy and the pots and pans might even be worse.

Traditional Pastie from Draft House Peoria AZ

I receive  my meal already knowing it was a forking leftover from at least yesterday because the waitress told us only certain pasties were available since the baker wasn’t in yet to forking bake new ones. I received a very dry meat pie with very dry beef in it. I think it might have been good when it was new and fresh but in the condition I had it wasn’t so forking good. I did tell the waitress and she said she was sorry but ignored the filthy silver in the front of the table.

Usually leftovers taste pretty good and sometimes even better the second time around but this meat pie seemed really forking leftover. I don’t know how leftover it was.

I ate what I felt like eating and went to use the forking ladies room.

Saturday at lunch time

The ladies room wasn’t forking cleaned from the night before and stunk like forking sewage. WTF!

Not Worth a Fork

If I took the time to check my fork I would have avoided all the forking crap.

Forking Truth

I thought I remembered Peanut M&M’s being sized just like these Forking Candies pictured above but these are not them.

We were sharing a Bag of Peanut M&M’s at the Movies and they  Forking Seemed different. They seemed to have hardly any Forking Peanut in them and seemed much Forking Smaller.  They seemed very different in my mouth.

This really bothered me and I had to go out and buy a bag to measure after I saw a bag of Mega Peanut M&M’s at Walmart.

I’m not good with a Forking Ruler but these are really tiny! I think some of the Forking Candies are smaller than Plain Chocolate M&M’s.

I was at Walmart and noticed Mega Peanut M&M’s saying they had more chocolate and bigger Peanuts in them.

I tried them and I Forking think these are what we all know and loved from before. These seem like my old Peanut M&M’s I remember.  I don’t know for a Forking Fact but I believe that today’s regular Peanut M&M’s are now down-sized.

I don’t know maybe they had to do this? Smaller peanuts and less chocolate must cost less.

When I was a kid we ate peanut butter  and Jelly Sandwiches but these days many kids are allergic to peanuts so these sandwiches are not permitted in schools. I also remember not too many years back super markets used to have bins of peanuts in the produce department. These days you only see peanuts come pre-wrapped in bags.

Maybe not enough Forking People eat Peanut M&M’s these days?

Forking Nutz!

Peanut M&M’s

Mega Peanut M&M’s

Forking Truth

The Cupcake according to Wikipedia is a small cake designed to serve one Forking Person. Icing and other cake decorations such as sprinkles maybe Forking applied.

Cupcake?

Also according to Wikipedia the Muffin is a quick bread that can be Forking SWEET or Forking Savory?????

Muffin?

Forking Cupcake or Forking Muffin I just don’t Forking know!

Forking Truth

Durian

It wasn’t too recent but I will never forget how strange Durian Fruit tasted and to this day never tasted anything like it.

All Durian Fruit here in the U.S. is sold frozen because of it’s strong smell so I do note fresh Durian might differ. After thawing my frozen portion a strong strange unfamiliar smell filled the house so I took it outside to try.

The strong smell fascinated my dog. I didn’t offer him any since I didn’t know how it would affect him.

I tried the tiniest smallest amount and found it super concentrated with flavor. For a split moment it almost tasted like very rich creamy sweet banana custard and I thought it wasn’t bad but the taste grows and changes and then turns very oniony. Then it gets super oniony. The banana taste leaves and then it gets like super massive truckloads of rotten onions. That tiny maybe 1/8th of a teaspoon taste turned into like having 100 super rotten onions in my mouth.

I don’t think I’ll be trying Durian Fruit again.

Forking Truth

After TWO salt water soakings (see the worm coming out)

After only trying to prepare Morel Mushrooms twice I decided they are too Forking dirty for me to ever eat.

After first draining

A year or so back I had the same exact Forking exsperience I just had this week with Forking Morel Mushrooms. I saw little worms coming out after I washed them. It bothered me.  Not too long after that Chef, TV Personality and Cook Book Author Sara Moulton was accepting Food Related Questions via a Morning Show and I asked her about how do you clean all the worms and stuff out of Morel Mushrooms. Chef Sara said you have to cut them in half and clean them out to see what ‘s in there.  She also said they are so dirty but also are so tasty you just gotta eat them. The Forking Truth!  Not too much latter the Twitter Emeril Lagasse ( I don’t think it really is him and maybe is a paid employee???  Don’t Know!) was taking food related questions and I asked him, how do you clean Morel Mushrooms and he said, “With a Mushroom Brush”.  The Forking Truth!

I decided maybe I just just got some Forking bad ones from AJ’s? I saw some nice looking Morel Mushrooms at the Farmer’s Market and decided to give them another try.

They looked nice but after a day in my Fridg.

I see worms all around the bag. I still try to soak the morels in salt water like you are suppose to do for a day.  A few hours latter they looked like this.

I saw these little white things. Not sure if they are Maggots?

I rinsed them out and then saw another worm coming out and my stomach turned.

I just have to say NO to Morel Mushrooms because they are too FORKING  dirty for me to eat!

Forking Truth

5-9-14 Ted Allen via Twitter was taking food questions so I asked him my question.

I found my question to Chef Sara Moulton.

I also found my question to Emeril.

6-4-14

Emeril was taking questions at @RED so I asked him my question again.

92% Approval on Urbanspoon

I ‘ve come to the conclusion that you have to take online restaurant reviews with a grain of salt sometimes Forking Truck Loads of Salt.

Forking Truck Load of Salt

I decided to try this one restaurant that had great reviews on three Forking review sites. On Urbanspoon they had a 92% approval rating.  On Yelp they rate at 4 stars.

Yelp 4 Star Average

On Tripadvisor this same place has a 4.5 Rating out of 5.

Tripadvisor 4.5

I will tell you I first went to this Forking restaurant for lunch.  My husband started with Minestrone Soup. The soup was very thin and burnt tasting with decomposing vegetables in it. The soup also lacked beans and pasta and was very Forking disappointing to say the least. Then our salads arrived. The Greens seemed fresh but were just Iceberg that was topped with vegetables that came from a can or a bottle served with bottle tasting dressing and dry chicken.

A few years went by and this place still has very good reviews and also was featured in our local paper so we decided to Forking try them for dinner hoping they were better for Forking dinner.

The dinner menu was made of mostly Chicken Dishes so I thought Dinner Chicken should be good. I soon received a generous amount of almost solid as rock dry almost Forking tasteless naked pale chicken covered in a thin, oily next to tasteless sauce served with nicely cooked pasta in that same dreadful sauce.

The dinner came with Garlic Toast that just tasted like Cooking Oil with maybe some butter and some dry almost tasteless herbs sprinkled on.

Not Worth a Fork

Here’s to these online reviews.

I understand a place can have a bad day or do some dishes better than others but there is no way that this place should have the FORKING reviews I read and I know for a fact that this isn’t the only example of this sort of thing.

Forking Truth

I just had another exsperience reading really great reviews for a little fast/casual Hawaiian Style Eatery in Phoenix.

4.5 Star Average

Honest to GOD the food we tried was mostly inedible. Most of the  food seemed old and like BAD leftovers I do note Leftovers can be good but what I got here seemed pasted it’s prime.  The fried Foods squirted out cold not good tasting oil. The house made potato salad tasted awful but the macaroni salad tasted even worst. I think it was really old because the mayo in it sort of broke down to oil and paste.  Neither the  Potato Salad or the Macaroni Salad seemed to have even just salt or pepper in them and were overly bland.  A few things were edible but were just OK. I was starving so I ate some.

I ate about 1/3 of meal

This food was not 4.5 stars.

Forking Truth