Taco Haus Scottsdale AZ

Chicken is pretty Forking easy to prepare. I think if you pay money to eat Chicken Out that it should be prepared reasonable well.  The Taco Pictured above was made with Chicken that was so Forking dry I almost Forking choked. I am certain nobody ever told the cook here that you cook chicken so well you should open a Forking restaurant.

Times Square Family Restaurant Phoenix AZ

The Above Picture also was made with very Dry and  next to Tasteless Sad Chicken.

Not Worth a Fork

The above food was not worth a Fork.

For God’s Sake just buy a Forking SousVide Machine.

Any Forking Idiot can prepare Perfect Chicken easy in a SousVide.

The Chicken comes out Moist and falling off the bone and infused with Concentrated Flavors.

You have to either Brown the chicken or remove the skin.

Or Forking teach your Cooks To Cook Chicken in a Fry Pan.

I think Restaurants shouldn’t get licensed until they pass a Food Forking tasting test and Chicken 101 is key to passing. There is no excuse to be served Dry not Worth a FORKing Chicken.

Forking Truth

I’m not a Pig and I don’t need a massive Forking Trough to feed on when I go out and pay for a meal. I do prefer quality over quantity but sometimes restaurants forget you have to actually feed someone  and not just prepare a beautiful plate thats Forking pretty to look at.

Seared Tuna Nicoise ($16.) from The Local, PHX AZ

I read wonderful reviews for a new restaurant that opened up in Phoenix so I wanted to try it for lunch.  I thought a $16.00 salad should be pretty nice. I did receive a pretty salad but didn’t even get enough food to feed a dieter.  I’m not a Forking Pig Woman but honestly I was thinking of hitting Costco for Forking food samples after this lunch. None of the reviews I read described this place as a Tapas House nor did my server suggest ordering two Forking plates for lunch. I guess he couldn’t or I’d leave because most people wouldn’t order two lunches at those prices at this place. The food was good but not like Forking Mind Blowing Great!

Right now I’m just thinking……. What The Fork did they do with that other half of egg? I paid for it and could have used it. The menu said I’d get an egg not a Forking half egg.

I had to bit my own cheek at the waiter telling me I did a good job at finishing all that food on the Forking plate.

Just for fun……I should have told him I was too Forking full for dessert.

Forking Truth

1/4 lb of Frozen Truffles

If a quarter pound of good FROZEN  (not fresh BUT FROZEN) truffles coast a FORKING $500.00 do you really think your $20.00 bottle of truffle oil is any FORKING good? Do you think it’s really made of Forking truffles?

Most Truffle Oils are not actually made from truffles and are Forking SYNTHETIC CHEMICALS that are also called Aroma because they are similar to  FORKING perfume.

You can find oils and salts that have a trace amounts of truffle in them.

But they don’t compare to real Truffle. They are only just a slight hint of truffle.

Truffle oil (if it’s a really FORKING good (($$$$)) one goes well with potatoes(Fries), Eggs, Rice, Popcorn, Bread and Pasta.

But it can never be what real Truffles are.

Often if you get a real truffle it would be either old and dry or a variety that isn’t  desirable like from China or the U.S.A. Truffle. Desirable kinds are like Australian, French or Italian. Expect to pay $20-$75 additional charge to your meal for real FORKING truffle to be shaved on.

I’m not totally against my Trace amount Truffle Salt and Trace amount Truffle Oil after all they make my Fresh just Popped Popcorn taste slightly special.

Fresh 2 min. no chemicals Popped Pop Corn

Recipe

One Brown Lunch Bag

1/4 C. Pop Corn (hint the big kernels taste and pop better)

Place Brown Bag with your 1/4 C. pop corn kernels with top rolled close. Place in microwave and let it go for up to two minutes. Add whatever spice seasoning you like and spring for butter if you care to.

Forking Truth

Lotus Root

Lotus Root can be stir fried, boiled, steamed or fried.

Oven Fried Lotus Root

I pealed the lotus root, sliced thin, lightly sprayed with canola oil and put in a 375 degree oven till they were crisp. Then sprinkled with fresh crushed Sea Salt. They were very delicious and taste better than potato chips.

Lotus Root Chips adds appeal and texture to a salad

Lotus Root Chips also make a pretty garnish for foods.

Roasted then Fried Rutabaga topped with oven fried Lotus Chip

Lotus Root Season is in the Fall.

Forking Good!

I always liked Rutabagas in soup.  But after tasting the Gilfeather Rutabaga at FnB Restaurant in Scottsdale AZ I became a little obsessed over them.

Rutabagas can be….

Boiled

Roasted

Fried

or raw in a salad.

In Sweden and Norway the Rutabaga is made into a Mash with Potato and is called Root Mash.

ROOT MASH

Oven Fried Rutabaga 400 degrees about 1/2 hour

They are delicious as oven fries as they come out  creamy and sweet with the Rutabaga attitude.

Rutabaga with attitude

Rutabagas are delicious other ways.

Roasted then Fried Rutabaga topped with oven fried Lotus Chip

The above is a Gilfeather Rutabaga purchased from McClendon’s Old Town Scottsdale Farmer’s Market. I roasted the rutabaga then pan fried it in a combination of butter and canola oil.  Added a little fresh ground Sea Salt and Pepper.

I made a cream of Nonfat Greek Yogurt and whipped cream cheese and for the right tang and body and then topped with a lotus root chip I made. I think it came out more delicious than a baked potato. The above Rutabaga is similar to what I enjoyed at FnB.

Forking Truth

Do you know that carrots, onion and broccoli are not indigenous to China? If you spot these vegetables in your Chinese Food that is a clue that you are eating Americanized Chinese Food.  Did you know that Americanized Chinese Food is usually sweeter, thicker and blander than real Chinese Food. Real Chinese Dishes might be made with ingredients like , Tripe, Tendon,  and Intestine. Real Kung Pao Chicken doesn’t have sugar in it and is not thick and has real Sichuan Pepper in it.

Some authentic style dishes are pictured below.

Bean Thread in Spicy Sour Sauce from Miu’s Cuisine Tempe AZ

Special Beef and Vegetables from Lucky’s King Wah Glendale AZ

Notice the very thin light sauce above and be cool and pretend you don’t see carrots or onions.

Braised Tofu with Bamboo Fungus from Joyful Chinese Las Vegas NV

The Bamboo Fungus really did taste better than it looks. It’s really a mushroom veil and has little taste on it’s own it’s really texture.

The Chinese weren’t the only ones that created Americanized food.

But That’s Another Story.

Forking Truth