First Forking Awful Meal of the Year

One would never FORKING guess that you can get awful food with not so great service at one of the finest  resorts in Phoenix. We entered a winding road of lush greens and beautiful manicured gardens and past by the valet and then garage parked ourselves. When I entered the restaurant I was taken with how airy the restaurant was and it had this groovy kind of masculine vintage look that I liked. I sort of ignored the crumbs I saw on the floor and I noticed bowls of tortilla chips sitting out on the open kitchen line just out in the open thinking that was forking odd. Don’t they get dusty and stale sitting out?    WTFork!

I usually order something like a salad for lunch but the house made corned beef seemed much more interesting to me so I went with that.

Frank & Alberts at the Biltmore Phoenix AZ House Made Corned Beef

Frank & Alberts at the Biltmore Phoenix AZ House Made Corned Beef around $16.00

The sandwich looked OK. I kind of thought it might come with a forking pickle but it didn’t. I took a bite and it was very lacking in flavor with a mushy texture. The bread was old people rye, the kind without seeds that almost taste like rye (whatever). I took a piece of meat out to taste and found that it was mostly just FORKING Fat.

IMG_6236

Then I sawed off the fat part and tasted the meat by it’s self. It was oddly almost flavorless with a slimey texture. I give a piece to my husband to try and he says the same forking thing I just said. Then I go eat some fries and found they are cold. I was going to add pepper to the forking cold fries but the salt and pepper shakers were filthy. I was hoping our waitress would stop by so I could tell her how my forking sandwich was…..

My husband got the pork belly BLT.

F&A BLT from Frank & Alberts at the Biltmore Phoenix AZ

F&A BLT from Frank & Alberts at the Biltmore Phoenix AZ

I thought the Pork Belly BLT looked OK and I asked my husband how it was. Then he started pulling out the tomatoes.

IMG_6235

He said the tomatoes seemed about three days old and the roll was hard and the pork belly was very dry. He did say the bacon was OK. Wow one would think in a nice place like this someone could actually cut a tomato fresh to order? And how can you make pork belly dry?

This is Forked Up!

This is Forked Up!

We were never asked how our forking meals were. Even when the waitress stopped by to drop off the bill, she just dropped off the bill. At that point I had to tell her I had a Scottsdale preferred Card and then she had to remove one meal from our bill.

I know I should have said something to the manager but I just was so bummed out I didn’t feel like making the effort. Besides I got one meal off the bill and didn’t want anything more from this place.

I didn’t know how dry the forking pork belly was till I got home. My husband bagged some up for the dogs. Honest it was the driest meat I ever felt. It was so dry that if you were boarding an airplane they might take it away from you because it was hard and sharp and you could forking cut someone with it.

Not Worth a Fork

Not Worth a Fork

IMG_6239

All the Presidents have forking been here except President Obama (as of 1-18-14) Say what you want about him but I think he heard about the forking corned beef and pork belly from here and that’s why he might have skipped this place on his recent visit.

Forking Truth

Forking Truth

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *