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Halloween Horrific Food Edition 2024 Las Vegas NV

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Halloween is when my claws come out and I complain about some of the lousiest food I tried here. (I drew the picture below for a restaurant I used to work for)

Our local food critic always raves about an Italian Restaurant called Cipriani. This restaurant was also on Eater Las Vegas as one of the best for lunches in Las Vegas so I had to try it. We got the three course menu. The FORKING Truth is that two of the three courses were horrible.

I started with the lentil soup that completely lacked any depth of flavors….For the most part it tasted like a bowl of wet dirt.

Lentil Soup

For our mains we both tried the branzino with pasta. The pasta was perfect but possibly they forgot to season this dish? The only flavor was the fishy bloodline that they might have also forgotten to remove from the fish.

The North Las Vegas Location of Servehzah Bottle Shop and Tap Room might serve good beer but food is another story. All the tacos…even the fried tacos were served cold. The fried meat tacos also were coated in a wet cold (what seemed like thawed from frozen?), possibly raw batter and didn’t taste good. I had a protein bowl that is their signature specialty dish. The chicken was served cold and had this unappetizing taste. The dressing didn’t pour and was hard like cold cream cheese. I think it is possible that it might have been a health violation.

Some things from Izakayo Go were indeed very good but raw fish is usually very good from Japanese restaurants. The big eye tuna steak was NOT EDIBLE. It was raw inside and not tender at all. It was like trying to bite into a raw turkey leg.

I heard mostly good things about Fat Choy. They were even featured on Drive Ins Diners and Dives. The chef also has great experience working at very fine restaurants such as Robuchon. My server recommended the salmon teriyaki so I gave that a try. My fish was slightly over cooked and slightly fishy tasting maybe from being over cooked but my husbands Crispy Korean BBQ Rice bowl was even worst (see it pictured below).

Crispy Korean Beef BBQ Rice Bowl

I tried a small piece of beef. WOW……It’s not developed with any kind of flavor and has a dehydrated beef jerky kind of texture. This is really awful.

We went to MRKT Land and Sea. This is a luxury restaurant at Aliante Casino. I tried the salmon dinner.

Salmon from MRKT

They over cooked the salmon till it was dried out and crumbly.

I sent it back and then they made me raw salmon that was partially over cooked on the ends. They said that they were going to try again but after waiting another 40 minutes we decided that they couldn’t cook salmon. I didn’t have dinner that night.

Incase you don’t know how salmon should be cooked I added a picture from how Bouchon serves salmon.

Salmon from Bouchon

We all should get something like the above from a luxury restaurant.

The Harvest Cafe is sort of a budget restaurant that offers a large menu with lots of variety including breakfast. The prices are very low so you go in not excepting the best. But I made the mistake of expecting the standard or just ok.

This is a very sad plate. I picked the grilled cod because I thought it was the easiest plate on the menu to get ok. I don’t know how they made it but I can imagine frozen fish sticks that got the batter removed and the fish got drenched with four. They grilled it well on one side with the other three sides tasting like raw flour. In the process they over cooked the fish sticks till they were tough and chewy. The green beans were dropped in a nasty tasting oil and served soggy. The rice just tastes gross. You go here when you have a cold and can’t taste your food. Or you go here when you are dieting and are trying not to eat.

And the mediocre or non-honorable mention

Prince’s Pizza

We tried four different slices..None of them looked bad but all four supposedly were made with a different sauce…????……All four were made with tomato sauce that was as sweet as candy.

Uncle Paulie’s

Hated the pastrami sandwich.

Pastrami sandwich from Uncle Paulie’s

Weird tasting pastrami with crunchy ends on not so great bread.

From Greens and Proteins Restaurant –

Just awful tasting and mostly everything was over cooked.

Thai Chicken Peanut Bowl from Greens and Proteins

The Chicken Peanut Bowl was missing the mushrooms and the asparagus. Chicken was dry and chewy. Rice was mushy. My husband’s plate was Chewy steak, hard rice and just didn’t taste good.

Spiedini Fiamma Italian Bistro –

Here almost everything was either over cooked or undercooked. The chicken was under cooked and also had rubbery skin. Dessert there had a frozen center.

Chicken from Spiedini Fiamma Italian Bistro

This was the 2024 Horrific Food Edition from Las Vegas NV.

(below is another one of my artworks)

Happy Halloween!

The Forking Truth

My Forking Thoughts on Pumpkin Pie M&M’s – Oy Veh

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I used to love M&M’s Candies. I grew up enjoying the original and peanut varieties and latter I enjoyed the almond variety. Over the decades these candies changed things up and also introduced new flavors. Some I liked and some I didn’t care for……It’s been a very long time since I found a new flavor so I gave these Pumpkin Pie M&M’s a try.

WOW! It says on the front of bag ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR ………how good can that be?……..

Anyways

The M&M’s are different colors (Orange, Brown, White) and different sizes? Regular and mega?

I taste some…….I taste some more……

These are just too fake tasting to identify.

They sure DON’T TASTE ANYTHING LIKE PUMPKIN PIE

But even worse……

They don’t taste like chocolate either….

They are kinda sweet but not too sweet like some of them….

They just don’t taste like anything familiar.

Those were my FORKING THOUGHTS on Pumpkin Pie M&M’s I do note that YOUR FORKING THOUGHTS may indeed differ.

The Forking Truth

Halloween Special Edition – Frightful Horrifying Foods Served in Las Vegas NV 2023

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This is a collection of the most frightful horrifying foods served to us in Las Vegas Nevada in no particular order. OK my claws are out and here it is…….

At Casa Don Jaun downtown besides cold chips that seemed purchased and oregano laced salsa I tried a chicken fajita salad. I got an uninspired warm salad that was topped with onions, peppers, tomatoes, and chicken that was drowning in salty soy sauce. Oh and a glob of guacamole. YUK! It tasted like they used half a bottle of soy sauce to make this.

The chicken ramen was made with good chicken but the broth was below standard. It tasted like some sort of instant broth with added salt. This was absolutely terrible and most of the ramen they offer at this restaurant is made with this too. I had the chicken ramen. Not all but most of the ramen they offer is a combination of pork and chicken broth.

At Victories Cafe in The Cannery besides being served over microwaved rolls that turned hard……I tried the Asian Chicken Salad. The chicken had a weird texture…..It was tender but unusually dry??????But it was the sauce on it that made me gag….It was very sweet…It just didn’t taste good.

The rice was good from Little Hong Kong but everything else was below standard……My husband tried the Szechwan beef that was hard and chewy in a sauce that we didn’t care for….Sadly we tried Mandarin hot braised vegetables and they were in the same exact sauce as the Szechwan beef. Maybe the worst dish we had there was the vinegar marinated milkfish…..I had Caribbean vinegar marinated fish before that was delicious. The fish dish from Little Hong Kong has all dried out and chewy and only tasted like old fish and vinegar…….

Sometimes you get bad food at food festivals.

Recently at the USA Today Wine and Food Festival I tried this piece of beef from Kusa Nori……Somehow they made this saltier than salt….I thought I was going to be sick after tasting it..

Same thing happened at the Great Las Vegas Taco Festival.

I wasn’t able to eat either of these tacos from El Fuego. They were so over salted that to me they weren’t edible.

Back to restaurants

EllaEm’s Soul Food won a Best of Vegas Award so I thought they’d be good. OK maybe it’s my bad for trying the fish…..(not the best) but you can clearly see problems with most of the sides. I had mixed vegetables that look like from frozen that have nothing added to them. In the middle are sweet potatoes that are sweet beyond belief. To the right is macaroni and cheese that is all dried out. My husband also had a very dried out chicken fried steak.

Bob Taylor’s Ranch House might be one of the oldest Steak Houses in Las Vegas. My husband found out that his burger was thrown on the grill from frozen. He asked for medium – rare but he got grey in the center and all dried out. I tried the BBQ chicken salad. They did give me tender chicken but it was covered in a cloyingly sweet bbq sauce and was served over warm soggy iceberg lettuce.

We had a good visit to Secret of Siam Thai Restaurant so I wanted to go back because they offer a lot of different fish dishes on their menu. I tried the green Apple Pompano……The slaw that came with it was delicious……..but……

The fish was horrifying…….It came out like they boiled it in glue. I dug and dug with my fork and it was next to impossible to get flesh to eat….But when I managed to get a small morsel……..ICK!

It’s FORKING gross…..It’s that old fish taste.

That was The Halloween 2023 Special Edition of The FORKING Truth where I shared the most frightful, horrifying foods served to me in Las Vegas NV.

Have something good and don’t go hungry on Halloween.

I drew this….

Every THING is subject to change.

The Forking Truth

My FORKING THOUGHTS on Hershey’s Strawberry Ice Cream Cone Kisses –

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I noticed these Limited Edition Hershey Strawberry Ice Cream Cone Kisses at my local Safeway Supermarket. I hesitated …….should I….or shouldn’t I?……..As a Youngster I used to like Good Humor Strawberry Shortcake Ice Cream Bars…..So I was hoping that these Hershey’s Strawberry Ice Cream Cone Kisses might taste similar…….????? Well lets see…..

Eeek! They are flesh colored with little red rashes.

I try it and it is gross. WTFork is this? Not sure if I can finish……..

It just taste very artificial ……Doesn’t taste comparable to anything.

As it’s melting I got a crunchy lump. The crunchy lump is ok….It’s sort of cookie like in taste……

But The kiss is still there and terrible. My tongue is burning from it….YUK!

Now I got a weird aftertaste…..It’s something like hops from beer…ICK…GROSS!

On the bright side I won’t be getting fat from them.

I can not recommend them…..Actually I am surprised that they can pass a taste test from Hershey’s…..

Those were my FORKING Thoughts on Limited Edition Hershey’s Strawberry Ice Cream Cone Kisses but I also must note that YOUR FORKING opinion may indeed differ.

The Forking Truth

Where The FORK is the Peanut Butter in New Russell Stover Joy Bites? Joy Bites? More like OY bites.

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I came across these NEW Russell Stover sugar free peanut butter chocolate bars at my local Safeway grocery store. I didn’t even read the package but I thought the chocolate bar looked very appetizing in the picture. LOOK at all that peanut butter in the picture below. It looks so scrumptious!

I normally would never buy this brand of chocolate because I used to not like it but I thought this must be a new recipe because it looks so delicious on the package. Then when I got it home we cracked it open and ate two of the sections of the chocolate bar.

It really isn’t bad for sugar free chocolate. It melts in the mouth and can pass as sweetened with sugar…..but……….

…..Where The FORK is the Peanut Butter?

Joy Bites?

More like remove the “J” and you get OY bites. In addition to NO SUGAR added there is NO PEANUT BUTTER ADDED.

I contacted Russell Stover on Facebook and Instagram on this matter and got nothing from them…..Just like the same amount of no peanut butter that I didn’t get from them.

Where the FORK is the peanut butter in Joy Bites?

Remove the “J” from Joy Bites and you are left with oy bites.

And that’s The FORKING Truth.

The Forking Truth

I was BAMBOOZLED by a review site. Dirty Tables, Bad Chips & Salsa, Soapy Silverware, Stringy dry meat, 3% Processing Charge and MORE!

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I recently went to one restaurant in Phoenix Arizona and had a most unpleasant experience. I doubt whoever just opened this restaurant knows anything about the hospitality business. My gut told me that I should leave as soon as I got here….It was my bad for staying…….Note to self listen to your gut. This is the only restaurant (so far) that I am not mentioning by name. This restaurant has so many problems I doubt they will be around for long anyway unless they bring someone in to help. The only reason I wanted to eat here is because I was BAMBOOZLED on Yelp. I read mostly all 5 star reviews and looked at mouth watering photos of food……I can only figure that the reviews must have been done by friends and family…..I have no idea where they got the photos from……….I sure didn’t get anything that resembled the food I looked at…….This is the only way that I can write about this restaurant.

We walked in early just twenty minutes after they opened. Every table in the restaurant was left dirty from the night before with crumbs and smudges.

crumbs and smudges on every table “actual table”

I thought our waitress was dressed like a slut.

not actual waitress but similar

Since every table was filthy I thought our server would wipe the table off that she sat us at…. but she didn’t…. so we wiped off the table ourselves………………….. They obviously don’t even concern themselves about sanitation.

Then she introduces another slut…I mean waitress that she is training who is even sluttier.

Not actual waitress …ours had even more cut outs

We order and soon complimentary chips and salsa come out.

actual complimentary chips and salsa

Oh my they don’t know how to make chips and salsa. These chips taste like the ones that Costco sells (that aren’t good). They tried to heat the chips up but didn’t do that right because they taste burnt….. The sauce taste just like crushed canned tomatoes with too much added dry oregano and doctored up slightly with a little hot sauce. Wow it’s like a child made the salsa.

We needed silverware for our meals that arrived. We were the only table on the restaurant and our server was unaware that we needed silverware…….So we asked for silverware……Then we got some and I unrolled my silverware and they were covered in soap residue. I used my glass of water to soak off the soap from the silverware.

All the food that we received was mediocre….meats were like dry stringy pot roast. Flavors weren’t so good. I ordered a grilled fish taco and the cook made me a breaded fish taco that seemed like it was already reheated a few times. It was similar to bad buffet food.

Finally we asked for the bill. They have some sort of new electronic paying system where you don’t see the bill until you see it in your email on the computer.

They added on without telling us an extra 3% called processing tech charge.

Dirty Tables, Bad Chips and Bad Salsa, Soupy Silverware, Dry stingy meats, Undisclosed 3% processing tech fees, and some peoples daughters dressed like sluts from some restaurant in Metro Phoenix Arizona.

Everything is subject to change….This restaurant will probably close and re-open soon as another restaurant.

I only went here because of the glowing reviews and amazing looking pictures of food from a certain review site. It turns out that I was bamboozled by a review site.

The Forking Truth

The most CHALLENGING Recipe that I have ever tried…..

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When I do other people’s recipes I try to pick amazing recipes. I look for the most amazing recipes that I can find. I found this amazing sounding recipe on the web called textures of corn by a famous chef. This recipe was was a VERY complicated recipe that was something like 5 recipes in one. (corn parfaits, corn crumbs, purple corn crisps, peanut pesto, and corn salad) I think the recipe was full of typos. I don’t know if any part of the recipe was written correctly. Fortunately I was able to remedy everything that didn’t work out and came out with something even FORKING better than FORKING AMAZING.

The recipe starts with making a sweetcorn parfait that you chill and later char or fry. This was the recipe that worked more than most other parts. The corn parfait mixture was way too dry ……but was easy to fix by adding more liquid. I am not sure how much extra cream I added but it seemed like two or three times as much.

The next part was purple corn crumbs. I didn’t have purple corn and attempted this with yellow corn. You cook corn with salted water for around 40 minutes to a syrup consistency. I got my syrup consistency but I ran out of water at least 5 or more times. This recipe needs the water to be increased. I didn’t end up making the corn crumbles because I used this syrup in the next part of the recipe that didn’t work out.

I had the most trouble with the purple corn crisps. It is possible that the corn flour was ground different so a different amount of liquid might be needed. Anyways mine came out so dry that it was impossible to roll this into a dough. I added either 2 or 3 times the amount of butter and it was still too dry. Then I added the extra egg white that was leftover from the corn parfait…..STILL TOO DRY……Then I added the the syrupy liquid with the corn that I didn’t strain yet that I was suppose to turn into purple corn crumbs (with added biscuits)….This mixture gets chilled and latter rolled between two pieces of parchment. The mixture is suppose to turn into crisps at 248 degrees F for only 6 minutes. I did that and mine were raw. I upped the temperature to 300 degrees F and I think mine took close to an hour…. (but they do taste crazy FORKING Amazing) Now this baby is mine and it is FORKING INCREDIBLE….I will make again and publish.

Then I had trouble with the peanut pesto…mine turned into peanut butter. I fixed by starting over and crushed my peanuts in a grinder and added some dry parsley and some of the peanut butter.

The chalaquita recipe (Peruvian corn salad) was mostly very good. It is something that I will make again. I thought one lime was enough lime flavor for it. But the recipe says to use 5 limes.

This recipe was the most challenging recipe that I have ever done but in the end it really does taste like something that might be from the finest restaurant anywhere. I will have to make this again so I can write out a recipe that works. I am thankful to that chef who came up with the recipe because I wouldn’t have came out with this without it……..but won’t publish his name due to all the fails in the recipe.

Textures Of Corn – Corn Chalaquita, charred corn parfait, corn crisps with peanut pesto
The Forking Truth

My Trip to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse Scottsdale Arizona – Very Ordinary but Extraordinary priced

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Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse is located in Scottsdale Arizona. They have around one hundred and forty locations in around thirty seven states. Menus, some recipes and some prices do differ at the different locations.

The Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse in Scottsdale Arizona is located on a second level above other businesses. You enter by either walking up the stairs or taking the elevator. They offer indoor seating.

And outdoor seating.

They start you off with a loaf of warm ordinary bread and ordinary butter. (My FORKING Thoughts are can’t they serve a tastier bread? and at least clip some fresh chives for the butter….maybe serve a fresh herb pesto????? This is going to cost an arm and a leg….Why is this is soOoooooo ordinary?)

The bread is ok but not tasty enough to want a second taste. The butter is just plain butter.

When I go to similar price point restaurants going out to eat I usually get bread that is more like this (pictured bellow). (those were my FORKING thoughts)

Twist by Pierre Gagnaire at Waldorf Astoria Las Vegas

or

L’ATELIER de Joel Robuchon Las Vegas
Ruth’s Chris Bread and Butter

Oh Well the bread and butter are ordinary …lets move on.

Next we share a chopped salad.

It’s presented very nice. The crisp onions are tasty. This salad contains raw button mushrooms. Maybe it’s just me but raw mushrooms don’t taste good in a salad. This salad is bland. It’s like made for blue hairs in Sun City. It’s suppose to have blue cheese in it. I think we shared one small crumb of blue cheese…………( I think it should have a few teaspoons of blue cheese not just a small crumb). (My husband insist that this same salad at other Ruth’s Chris locations are much tastier and do include more blue cheese???……I’ve noticed that other locations do have different ingredients listed on the menu )……Oh well………

We share some sides because we are at a steakhouse so you have to buy the sides.

We tried the three cheese sauce potatoes au gratin and the grilled asparagus with hollandaise sauce.

The potatoes are ok but very ordinary. Like something you’d get at a family cook out. They are a smaller amount than expected. I took two chunks so my husband could eat the rest. The asparagus was tasty and nicely grilled. The asparagus might have been the highlight of the meal. The hollandaise sauce seemed fresh made but was very thick, laced with lemon and very mild.

My husband got the eleven ounce prime filet mignon.

$53.00

It came out on a very hot plate. My husband gives me a bite to try. It’s tender but I can’t eat this. It’s oddly tasteless. The beef is not flavorful and is so ordinary tasting and very bland. It really needs salt and pepper too. I don’t know why this filet is tasteless….It’s of high quality……Maybe they didn’t sear it enough???????…….I just had a ground up prime filet somewhere else and it was far more flavorful and cost less than half of what this cost. The last Filet I had also was far more flavorful, detailed and delicious, (pictured below) and also cost much less. (my husband did say that he has enjoyed filets from other Ruth Chris’s Restaurants…to him this one did differ….)

Twist Bistro & Gallery – Harris Ranch Tenderloin, fresh herbs, grilled artichoke, confit tomato, garlic mashed potatoes, braised greens, cabernet jus, aioli $31.50

I THANK my lucky stars that I didn’t go with a filet at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse.

The Chilean sea bass almost seems amazing after tasting the filet.

$40.

It looks like a large portion and it is enough but not as large as it looks. It is placed on a very small plate. (They are tricky here) This is a standard restaurant side plate….Like the type of plate you would serve a baked potato on or a side of vegetables. The fish is surrounded by small chunks of hard sweet potato and grilled chunks of pineapple in a coconut butter sauce. The fish is prepared well and is tasty with the fresh herbs, salt and pepper. This plate was mostly ok even with the undercooked sweet potatoes. For $40 I think it could have been a little more special. Maybe dressed with a nice vegetable like a few snap peas? A few pretty sprouts? Some toasted macadamia nuts?

For the same price I enjoyed many extraordinary fish entrees from Confluence in Carefree. (They always do fish extraordinary with crispy seasoned skin that is shattering crisp and extraordinary things surrounding the plate).

Hiramasa, huitlacoche, tomatillo, mango, pepitas, arbol chili

The above plate is far superior to-

This was a $300. night out (with tip).

In general there is nothing wrong with ordinary. I expect ordinary at most places but –

……Dinner tasted very ordinary (but was extraordinarily priced).

I left very underwhelmed.

We went to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse because we had a gift card.

I do note that each location does differ and your experience at Scottsdale could indeed differ.

www.RuthsChris.com

Everything is subject to change and your opinion may differ from mine.

The Forking Truth

A Collection of HORRIBLE Frightful Foods Served To Me In Metro Phoenix AZ – The Halloween Special Edition Of The Forking Truth

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The Forking Truth is that not everything is amazing. Restaurants don’t always serve great food. Here is a collection of some of the obvious bad dishes I had served to me in metro Phoenix Arizona. I already reported these offenders once so I did my job. Once is enough. If you regularly read my blog then you will know where these monstrosities came from.

The above photo is a little fishy.

Here’s a close up.

This is suppose to be polenta. But it is oddly stiff……

I don’t know if it’s happy to see me or if the chef was just pissed off…???

This next one looks like a cinnamon or chocolate pastry…..But it is not.

It’s a burnt roll.

Also got a burnt pizza crust somewhere. Maybe the cook was sauced?

Don’t you hate when foreign objects are in your food?

Dessert isn’t always a sweet ending.

They gave us a dessert that is hard as a rock. We said something to (I think the owner) and he said that nothing was wrong with his dessert. He said they soften up when you heat them up…..WTFork was I suppose to do? Heat it up with my butt!

This next one was even more horrible than it looks.

The fish was fishy tasting (I couldn’t eat it) and was topped with raw sour tomato paste (like fresh from a can mixed with lemon juice and was just plopped on the fishy fish. It was surrounded by starchy tasting corn splats of different disgusting textures. I didn’t know at the time but latter found out that the chef left. I guess they let their dishwasher take a swing at cooking. I told my waiter about it but nothing was done…Then they went out of business.

Bad food can come from a food truck.

This was suppose to be some sort of corned beef stuffed roll. You can see it is greasy but THANK GOD you can’t taste it ….It tasted like it was cooked in rancid oil…..

This next one was a restaurant week dinner.

This dinner looks like it threw up on it’s self.

This sandwich was very unappetizing in appearance.

It looks like it was dragged threw a lake. (or maybe a mop bucket?)

Even pizza can bum you out. it’s so disappointing when you get a slice of pizza with zero topping.

BAH!

Had the worst taco in the whole world.

Even the tortilla was decomposing on it’s way to me. It was stuffed with DRY as can be flavorless chicken.

I also had the misfortune to try out the WORST Mediterranean food that I ever had anywhere.

Well the rice and tomato was good. But everything else was horrible but photographed well. Falafels had uncooked hard as rock chickpeas in them. The chicken shawarma tasted like chicken baloney. The pickle they gave me was old and decaying. I think it also came with a Sr. Citizen card.

I went to a new (at the time) BBQ place. The meats they served us were undercooked with hard fat. THE GRITS YOU CAN SEE WERE UNCOOKED that they served us.

We told someone about the grits. Nobody said that they were sorry. Nobody said that they’d take them off our bill. Nobody said that they’d get us something else.

It’s always horrible when they serve you…….”The I already ate plate” (no that wasn’t an appetizer…It was suppose to be my $16.00 Lunch.

Here’s another “I already ate plate”

This isn’t enough food for a gerbil. BAH!

Sometimes some restaurants are just bad.

I got this salad somewhere. They used processed chicken fingers that weren’t cooked correctly. It seemed they they cooked them in the microwave until they BLEW OUT the centers of the chicken and the outside of the chicken got incredibly hard. Then they chilled them and added them to my salad.

My husband got something similar but different here.

He said that his chicken fingers were a little better but the cheese with a combination of hard and melted at the same time.

This next one is also just bad.

I got questionable trout, from frozen boiled vegetables and GREEN mashed potatoes. I did ask my waitress why the mashed potatoes were green. She ran and asked the chef. She said the chef told her that mashed potatoes turn green when you add black pepper.

I think the worst meal I had came from a Chinese Restaurant that I enjoyed before. I ordered the fresh fish because it was very good last time.

I have no idea what the FORK they served us. This fish was like it was made of rubber. I think it was dead and embalmed. It was next to impossible to pull the meat off of it. WOW! was my husband mad at me for recommending this place. He was so mad that when the owner asked us how things were he said ok just so the guy would leave. Then when we got the bill he was really SORRY that he didn’t say anything because they charged us over $80.00 for this fish we couldn’t eat.

All this crap was NOT Worth a Fork!

That was a collection of not all but some of horrible frightful foods served to me in metro Phoenix AZ.

This was the Halloween Edition of The Forking Truth.

The Forking Truth

Grocery Shopping During The CoronaVirus Pandemic In Metro Phoenix AZ – Week 5

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The Pandemic is only increasing and grocery shopping is becoming more deadly. Among the more crowded places that people need to shop from are the grocery stores. It is necessary to avoid as many people as possible. We need to keep a distance of at least 6 feet between people. We need to shield our eyes, nose and mouth. Our hands need to be sanitized after touching anything. It’s also important not to touch our faces. As crowded as the supermarkets are here it is difficult to maintain a six foot distance at all times. Especially now when everyone is out of work and are on the hunt for paper products. I’ve decide to do my first grocery pick up to avoid people.

My first choice was Sprouts Grocery. I’m embarrassed to admit this but…I had trouble logging in. I got a message that my password didn’t match my email and didn’t see an option for a new password or an option of how to change password. I got very frustrated and tried Safeway.

At Safeway I didn’t have any trouble logging in. I didn’t find everything I wanted but found enough. Then when I was about to finalize things I got the message that my order wouldn’t; be ready for SIX DAYS. So I left Safeway.com and went to Walmart.Com

I was able to log in.

I ordered a bunch of produce and some other food. They didn’t have everything I wanted but I got most things I wanted.

One thing I wanted was yeast so I can bake some bread. I typed in yeast and seriously got feminine products. Then I brought the baking category up and all 17 pages were free of yeast but I found cake batter extract.

I have no FORKING idea of why anyone would buy cake batter extract. If you make a cake doesn’t it taste like cake? Why would anyone need cake batter extract?

Then I tried to get paper towels.

The only paper towels I could buy were some sort of Scott Professional Towels for glass so I bought one.

I’m real paranoid about toilet paper now. I got a bunch of rolls by accident before the pandemic (luckily I was forgetful and forgot I had bought a pack and bought another big pack) but I am frightened that I will never be able to buy toilet paper again. I got plenty for now but I know it won’t last forever. So I tried to buy a pack of toilet paper.

WTFORK!

I typed in toilet paper in the search and this is what I got.

Walmart search recommended Reynold’s Cookie Baking Sheets that are pre-cut.

That’s FORKED UP!

So I paid and I get to pick up my groceries with no added charge for pick up in two days. I forgot a few things that I wanted and even for me it was very easy to add them on.

Since I’m getting paranoid about toilet paper I called up Smart and Final (the store were I normally buy most of my paper products). The manager told me that if I want to buy paper towels and toilet paper from them that I have tp come on their delivery days and wait in line before they open at 6am. He said every delivery day they have a line of people out there that buy out all the paper products within an hour.

YIKES this sucks!

So my pick up order from Walmart is ready.

YIKES! I didn’t know I have to communicate with Walmart with some app I didn’t install.

My tech…(my husband)…worked that out for me.

Oh they made 7 substitutions.

4 things were out of stock.

Then I let them know that I am on my way.

We pull into a pick up spot.

I call the number and it’s the wrong and the message says to call another number. I panic because I can’t remember what number they said to call. My husband jumps in and calls the number and uses two phones and calls the number on message. We get an old Walmart message that the store is closing early on December something. Then he gets the menu of departments and picks #3 for pick up. The phone rings and rings and nobody answers. He calls again and speaks to the operator. The operator says it’s not her fault that nobody answers the phone. We are one of ten cars that are waiting for pick up. My husband get out and talks to someone. We get our groceries before everyone else who is waiting…(yeah one for us!)

We see people leaving Walmart with toilet paper but for some reason I couldn’t order toilet paper for pick up. My husband bravely goes in and gets a pack of toilet paper. (just so I feel better)

This was crazy.

A few days latter I ordered some stuff from Costco. The delivery is free if you buy a certain amount of groceries. I don’t know if the service that I received was typical but I ordered (toilet paper was out of stock) and paid. I had an option to pick different time frames of delivery for TODAY! The delivery person asks if I want to add on toilet paper to my order!!!!!!! So I said YES and in 25 minutes my order was delivered to me!!!!!! and I got paper towels too!

WOW! COSTCO WAS FORKING AWSOME!

Everything is subject to change. I sure hope it does change for the better.

The Forking Truth